3 Ground Rules for Life-Giving Moms

When my four daughters were younger, I made up a cheer that we would recite at different times: “Two, four, six, eight… Who do you appreciate? Momma! Momma! She’s so great!” Of course, we would cheer for different children by name. I had my own cheerleaders who gave hugs, kisses, and smiles. Back then, I actually felt like a good mom.

Life-Giving Mom

If we, as mothers, are not careful we can begin to find our identity in our children and their behavior. The truth is, the behavior of your children is not the measure of your value and worth as a person. As a life-giving mom, your LIFE needs to flow from the ultimate life-giver — GOD.

I am going to begin blogging on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday on what it means to be a “Life-Giving Mom.” No, I will not give a typical step-by-step guide on how to raise perfect children.  I am not offering an underlying promise that if you follow my “guidelines” you will have a predicament-free family.

Have you noticed that every child has a free will? You and I can’t control what our children choose. We can guide them in the way they should go. We can discipline and instruct them. We can teach them about God. We can even make life for them miserable unless they obey us. But we can’t MAKE them be perfect children.

God is the only perfect Father, and He experienced something similar. He put His children in a perfect garden, and they still chose to rebel. In fact, we are still dealing with Eve’s choices today. She was the first mom who really had issues.

As we begin this journey together, here are some ground rules for Life-Giving Moms:

1. Be kind to yourself

Remember your value and worth as a human being is not based on how you “perform” as a mom. Have a sense of humor. Laugh and enjoy life as a mom.

2. Be Kind to Other Moms

This is not a race to see which mom can do the most “mom-stuff” possible. Refrain from judging or criticizing other moms. Encourage each other and recognize that each mom is unique, just as each child is unique.

3. Be Kind to your Children

Take time to understand your child’s needs. Look at things from their perspective. You will still need to hold them accountable for their actions, but it is helpful to them and to you to know the motives of their heart.

Every day we face situations where we need to instruct and discipline our children. It is tiring and frustrating. Often the situations are a recurring pattern in our child’s life. Just a moment ago, I got a text from my single neighbor because our sons and their friends ran through her yard – AGAIN.

You know what cycles you are facing with your children.If you aren’t careful you will be constantly frustrated and angry. This will only make your children wonder why you are “mean all the time.”

So set some ground rules: Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and be kind to your children and you will be a Life-Giving Mom.

Author, Speaker, and Pastor

SUE DETWEILER is a mother of six, author, speaker, radio host, and pastor with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. Sue and her husband Wayne have recently relocated to the North Dallas Texas area to plant and pastor Life Bridge Church.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • I would love to hear your comments on these ground rules…

  • Kara

    Spot on! With homeschooling & “homemaking”, I find that I feel sometimes like I’m “mean all the time”. The Lord has helped me let go of some of those things… not expecting perfection from me or my kids. Most importantly, receiving my life, direction, joy, etc. from HIM on a day-to-day & moment-by-moment basis. I’m still not perfect, but I’m laughing more with the precious gifts God has given us.

    • Yes. LOL. Expecting perfection will tempt of us to be “mean all the time” I agree we need to laugh more and receive His life direction daily!

  • Rhonda Hart

    Timely information. We’ve been talking about this lately with our children quite often. look forward to more in this series!

  • Amy

    This is a great!! I’m excited to read more! I’ve got a 3 yr old, 2 yr old and 6 month old. I’m in the thick of it and this is just the beginning:) I want to do this mama thing right, not perfect but right:) thanks Sue for your encouragement

    • Yes, you are in the “thick of it”… But you never really get out of the “thick of it…” I am heading into 2 weddings this Spring. My oldest daughter Rachel is getting married in April and Angela is getting married in May…. Life is so full. Enjoy the season Amy.