9 Words to say in healthy relationships (Linkup)

9 Words to say in healthy relationships

Do you think you are always right?

Healthy Relationships

I was in argument with my husband and I sensed that I shouldn’t say another word. But, I had 4 words that I wanted to say, to prove my point. You guessed it. These four words were the gasoline that took our disagreement into full blown war.


It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right. Admit when you are wrong it will go a long way to heal your relationships.
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Life-Giving Relationships are Mutual

My husband Wayne and I love to perform wedding ceremonies for couples. Using these following 9 words are helpful in every life-giving marriage. If you haven’t used these words in awhile, humble yourself and make them a part of your healthy relationship vocabulary.

1. I Was Wrong

If you are a human being you will make mistakes. Learning to say these simple words “I was wrong” help you to admit your short-comings. Saying “I was wrong” is the starting point of learning to change harmful habits in your own life.

Notice the words are not, YOU ARE WRONG! If you think you are always right, it shows a lack of maturity and insecurity in your life. You may feel pressured to perform. Your confidence is built on your performance.

Living as a disciple of Christ calls each of us to stay connected in life-giving relationship with the ultimate Life-Giver. Jesus said this,

“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

John 15:5-8 MSG

Jesus is the only perfect human being who came to do with His father in heaven told him to do. Only God is right all the time. A big weight will come off of your shoulders when you realize that apart from Him you can do nothing.

2. I Am Sorry

The beautiful words “I am sorry” only mean something if you are willing to change. By staying in an intimate life-giving relationship with Jesus, his life will flow into you if you stay connected to Him. Inevitably, there will be habits in your life that need to be pruned for even more healthy relationships

Learning to say “I am sorry” in words and actions will change your life. The good news is that saying “I was wrong, I’m sorry…” does not mean “I’m terrible, I can’t do anything right…” There is no shame in being sorry.

If you have made Jesus Lord of your life, He has already freed you from condemnation. Add this Scripture to one that you meditate on:

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Romans 8:1-2 NLT

There is no condemnation for you. You don’t have to live under a low-lying cloud of condemnation feeling worthless about yourself if you get something wrong. There is freedom to say “I’m sorry” because you know that Jesus has already paid for your sin and guilt on the cross. It’s from that freedom, that you can and should acknowledge to your spouse and others when you have been wrong.

3. Please Forgive Me

To forgive someone is to cancel their debt. Before you are able to get to the point of genuinely saying these 9 words, you need to forgive them. You need to stop being angry and resentful for what they have done to you. When you have been hurt by someone, that hurt clouds your judgement. You may only see what they have done to you.

If you forgive them from the heart, the life-giving spirit of God freely shows you the way that you have fallen short in the relationship too. The Holy Spirit will also protect you from taking on blame or condemnation that is an exaggeration of your offense. You are able to take responsibility for your action, without being beat-up on the inside of you.

Life Giving Relationships Last

When there is mutual love and respect in relationships they last. Toxic relationships are marked by manipulation, control, condemnation, and blaming. Any cycle of ongoing abuse needs the help of life-giving counsel for health to be restored in your relationship.

I would love to hear your comments on this. Leave your comment below or join the Life-Giving Linkup!

#LifeGivingLinkup Time!

We all need encouragement. No matter what stage of life, we need others to share the journey with us. We don’t want to be alone. It’s more fun together. Let’s Linkup in a life-giving journey of encouraging each other.


Author, Speaker, and Pastor

SUE DETWEILER is a mother of six, author, speaker, radio host, and pastor with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. Sue and her husband Wayne have recently relocated to the North Dallas Texas area to plant and pastor Life Bridge Church.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Lisa Murray

    Sue, Thanks so much for sharing the words we continually need to hear. When you stated, “The good news is that saying ‘I was wrong, I’m sorry…’ does not mean ‘I’m terrible, I can’t do anything right…’ There is no shame in being sorry,” I love how freeing that can be for any relationship. There truly is no shame in being sorry. We can ask forgiveness. We can heal. We can get up and try again.
    Blessings,
    Lisa Murray
    lisamurrayonline.com

    • Amen Lisa. God is a restorer and a redeemer! He takes away our shame and lifts our head.

  • Ellen Chauvin

    Nine simple words, but oh, so powerful! Great post, and I think I can remember those words! Thanks Sue!

    • Ellen, you really have to thank my husband Wayne. I am constantly convicted by the way he walks in the fruit of the spirit. He is the one who preached those words — and he does a better job at living them 🙂

  • Tayrina

    Wow! I have to practice with every word, every time. Excellent Post! and very encouragement for me. Blessings.

    • Tayrina, yes, I know what you mean. After I wrote this blog, my husband and I had an unusually difficult argument. We all have to eat humble pie sometimes.