Building Life-Giving Relationships #Linkup

Life-Giving Relationships

Last week my husband and I took a 5 day trip to the Houston area to celebrate 31 years of marriage. It fills up my love-tank when I spend time with my husband. I also found myself reflecting on the power of life-giving relationships.

Life-Giving Relationships

 

Watch this short video:

Life-Giving Relationships take time.

Right before we left for Houston, I found myself irritable with my husband. When I thought about what was truly bothering me, I wanted more quality time with him. Then I realized, “Oh, he is making up hours at work so that he can take days off with me.” When I reframed the situation in my mind, I was able to realize that I was simply being petty.

Life-Giving Relationships need priority.

We only have so many hours in the day, if we don’t prioritize our relationships tasks and deadlines will win over relationships. As a type A personality I have let my tasks and responsibilities run my schedule. I am trying to change this, and make people my priority.

Last week, I was working on blog post that I regularly post on Monday’s when I received a text from my friend Susan Mead about having lunch. I had made a mistake and written our lunch date for the next Monday. When I looked at her text I knew I had a decision, I could either go out to lunch with Susan OR complete the blog post. Because we were going out of town, I couldn’t do both. In the past, I would have stolen the time from my anniversary trip.

The Holy Spirit will lead you on how to prioritize the time in your day so that you are able to fulfill your calling in your life. Part of your God-given calling is to make time for relationships.  I am so thankful for the way that God gave me time with my children when they were small.  I often felt pulled in every direction. It was only by listening to the still small voice of God leading me that I could prioritize time with each one.

Life-Giving Relationships may be Life-Long or Seasonal

Every year in grade school I would moan to my mom at the end of the school year. “Mom, I had the best year! Next, year could never be as good.” Then I would talk about each of my friends. Some of the friends continued to be strong each and every year, others because my classes would change would become more like acquaintances. I would mourn the fact that I couldn’t keep up with every relationship. In fact, if we tried to make every relationship life-long, we wouldn’t be able to fulfill all that God called us to do in our lives.

Recently, a hard decision that Wayne and I faced was the choice to answer God’s call on our lives and to move across country to relocate in Frisco Texas to plant Life Bridge Church. It was a bold move for us. We still value all the neighbors, friends, co-workers, church family that we used to see regularly in the flow of our lives. It was sad and we grieved saying goodbyes. We love it when we have the opportunity to connect on social media or in other ways.

Life is bittersweet and takes twists and turns that we don’t always anticipate. I have sat with so many broken couples who did not anticipate their marriage ending in divorce. Their relationship that was once the joy of their life had been broken by sin and neglect. God is a restorative God. He heals, mends, repairs, and restores the broken places of our lives and gives us the hope of new beginnings.

Life-Giving Relationships are our Inheritance

Jesus modeled Life-Giving Relationships. He gathered the 12 around him and lived every day life with them. The disciples didn’t think they would have only 3 years with him, they wanted the relationship to stay the same. But Jesus knew His purpose. He was called to die and rise again for those he loved. Because of what Jesus did on the cross, we have eternity with him and with others who call on His name. Everything else will pass away, but life-giving relationships lasts forever. In eternity we will have an abundance of what we didn’t have on earth…TIME.

Life-Giving Marriage

I would love to give you an opportunity to read the Introduction and First Chapter of my upcoming book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which comes out in book stores on October 2. Click the button for immediate download.Download Here


5 Stupid Questions Women Ask Man

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

Be Stable and Strong in your Home

After gaining a great deal of weight in my journey towards menopause, I find myself struggling with body image in a new way. My body simply isn’t the same as it was when it was younger. It has thrown me off-kilter. I seem to be dealing with some of the insecurity that I felt as a young married bride.

I ran into a woman in Target that just had her second baby. We were commiserating together about the change in our bodies. The ever-changing hormones can play a number on our brains.  Let me know if you can relate.

5 Stupid Questions Women Ask Men

If you ask the wrong question, you will get the wrong answer. Because men and women are so different, it can feel like women are from venus and men are from mars. You are speaking a different language. Watch this fun video by Connie Podesta where she talks about 5 stupid questions to ask guys:

1. Do you notice anything different?*

I love Connie’s illustration that asking a man if he notices something different about the way you look, is like him taking you to his car and opening the hood and asking you what you notice. Women need to approach men with their own sense of self-respect. Your husband will not be able to demolish your own poor self-image if you constantly think negative about how you look. Give husbands an ability to affirm you without feeling like they are going to “get in trouble if they get it wrong.”

2. Do you think this makes me look fat?*

Women really don’t want to know the honest answer to this question. Struggling with weight is something that many of us will deal with at some point in our lives between pregnancy and menopause. Our own insecurity makes us want to be affirmed by the husbands we love. As the scale goes up, our rear end is getting bigger. It’s just part of what we deal with.

3. So what are you thinking?*

With men, this question is about timing. If we ask a question like this in the middle of his favorite ball game, we will only get blank stairs. Part of learning to bear with one another is learning to embrace what is important to the opposite sex. We need to learn to ask better questions with better timing.

4. Do you think that woman is prettier than me?*

When we ask the wrong questions, we will consistently get the wrong answers. Comparing the beauty of another woman who you already think is prettier than you will only put your man on the spot. The only way he can answer it and not get in trouble with you is to say ‘what woman?’  Every woman has been woven together by her maker in heaven. We have all made to be beautiful, no matter what our present cultural norms say.

5. Honey what’s wrong?*

Communication and intimacy is something that women and men both value. Again, this question is about timing. If your husband has had a bad day and is wanting to relax on the couch, it is not time for a deep conversation. Allow him to process, pray, and at least unwind from the day.

*I hope you enjoyed these 5 Stupid Questions that come directly for Connie Pedesta.

Building a Happy, Healthy Marriage

Every life-giving marriage requires work but also pleasure. If we stop falling into these male-female arguments, we will learn to appreciate our spouse for who they are. We will stop expecting them to fill up our emotional tank.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving MarriageI’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here


Unexpected Kindness #LifeGivingLinkup

Unexpected Kindness

Unexpected Kindness

This morning I nagged at my husband about the laundry. I really had nothing to complain about, he was doing the laundry, just not how I wanted it done.

Have you ever done this… demanded your own way…. Have you kept record of wrong? Have you become impatient for someone to live up to your standards?

When I act like this, I’m being selfish and self-centered. Pettiness drains our energy and strains our love. True kindness is unselfish. Read this description with is from my first book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom.

Unexpected Kindness

Simple Acts of Kindness

So think about it. Is there anyone that you need to say, “I’m sorry” to? Making things right will clear the air. Make your home a place where people want to come back to. Kindness is a quality that warms the heart and hearth.

The fruit of kindness is a remarkable force of persuasion in our homes. Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. To be warmhearted, affectionate, and caring.

I hope you enjoyed these tweets. I would love to hear your comments on kindness being love in action.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here


10 Ways to Love #LifeGivingLinkup

10 Ways to Love

10 Ways to Love

Do you remember the zing of attraction you felt when your relationship with your spouse was brand new? Being in the same room brought both comfort and butterflies. You felt empowered by the looks of admiration. Chills ran down your spine when your hands brushed together as you walked or reached for the popcorn.

Do you still have those feelings? Do you still get a rush when the love of your life walks into the room? Or has exhaustion, disappointment, or bitterness replaced the elation you once felt? With the starry eyes of new love, we all fantasize about how life could be together. We want to feel that same sense of excitement, joy, and fulfillment all the time. But that isn’t reality.

If you have been married for more than a week, I’m certain you’re aware that your marriage is not perfect. No marriage relationship is. And regardless of how wonderful or terrible your marriage may seem right now, I’m also certain that you are aware of ways it could be better, healthier, stronger, and more loving. We all desire to see positive changes in our relationships. We all want to be built up, encouraged, and empowered to live life to the fullest. Whether or not you use the exact words, what we want are life-giving marriages.

10 Ways to Show Your Love

As you read through this list of 10 ways to love, think about your relationships. How can you put these principles into action today?:

10 Ways to Love

Putting Love Into Action

I hope you enjoyed these tweets. Now to put love in action takes focus. I would love to hear your comments on this.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving MarriageI’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.Download Here


Does Marriage Bliss Exist? #LifeGivingLinkup

Does Marriage Bliss Exist?

Is it possible to enjoy a strong and healthy marriage –’till death do you part? Yes… with God! (No… if you walk in the flesh). Marriage can be a mixture of the highest highs and the lowest lows. My most difficult times have often centered on my own self-centeredness.

Life-Giving Marriage

Do You Ever Try to Remake Your Spouse?

I have tried to remake my spouse in my own image (believe me it wasn’t pretty).  I talk about this in my recent television interview on The Harvest House TV Show. You can watch my interview here (start at 17:17):

When we try to fix our spouse, we will find the Holy Spirit convicting us of our own need to be changed by God’s power. We like to be in control, but you and I have to face the fact that we can not control or change our spouse. We can, however surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leadership in our lives to be transformed.

God Speaks to our Hearts

When you feel like you are stuck in a crazy cycle with your spouse, take time to listen to God’s still small voice. With pen in hand write down the words He speaks to your heart. You will be amazed at when you really listen for God’s voice on your marriage, He will direct you and guide you in specific ways that you can make your marriage more life-giving.

When everything is going well in our marriage relationship, we don’t feel the need to change. It is when things are not going well, that we have the incredible opportunity to go deeper in our relationship to God and to our spouse. It’s at the point of conflict that you have 2 doors in front of you. You can open the door to the enemy to speak lies in your mind and heart about your husband or wife. Or you can open the door to greater intimacy in your marriage.

Take a moment right now to listen to God’s voice. What are ways, that you have tried to remake your spouse rather than accept how God has made them to be? As you listen to God, He will show you a picture of how God has made your spouse to be.

None of us will experience “marriage bliss” like a fairy tale ending of “happily-ever-after.” It is in the conflictual times that we have the opportunity to open the door to greater intimacy. I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below…

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.
Download Here 


Celebrating Marriage

Life-Giving Marriage

Celebrating Marriage

Do you remember the zing of attraction you felt when your relationship with your spouse was brand new? Being in the same room brought both comfort and butterflies. You felt empowered by the looks of admiration. Chills ran down your spine when your hands brushed together as you walked or reached for the popcorn.

I was at the wedding of my nephew Daniel and his new bride Taylor this weekend. Just watching this fully-in-love couple, I felt great joy as I saw Daniel passionately grab Taylor for the kiss of the wedding. With equal zeal Taylor raised her arms at the close of the wedding celebrating their oneness!

Wedding

3 Ways to Celebrate Marriage

What is it about a young couple reciting marriage vows that is so inspiring? Part of it is the fresh journey they are taking together. Those of us who have been married a long time could spend time talking about the difficult parts of marriage, but today let’s celebrate the wonder of marriage. Here are 5 ways to celebrate marriage.

1. Celebrate Oneness

It is truly a miracle for a husband and a wife to be made ONE by the power of the Holy Spirit. As they say their vows, kiss and celebrate a far greater reality is taking place. The very first couple experienced this wonder of oneness.

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

‘This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.’
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:22-25 NIV)

Becoming one-flesh is a miracle of God. To be naked and unashamed with your spouse is a miracle of God. To be ONE with someone is no small matter. In this world where marriages are pulled down, we need to celebrate being together.

2. Celebrate Uniqueness

It is differences that can often attract a man to a woman. It is also what can divide a couple. You won’t always think and feel the same way about issues. You will have a different way of of communication. Learn to celebrate the unique way that God has made your spouse rather than spending your time and energy into recreating them.

What are the quirks about your spouse that drive you crazy? Is there a way for you to turn around your thinking and see things from their perspective? You still may not agree on issues, but you can come to understand and respect them for who they are.

It is stifling to have someone try to control you. It is also impossible to change someone else. Celebrating your spouse’s uniqueness is accepting the way that God has created them to be.

3. Celebrate Partnership

A gift of marriage is coming together in partnership. You join your household and finances together and share in choices for your future. You are stronger together than apart as long as you are pulling in the same direction. If you are pulling in opposite directions you will be tired and frustrated all the time. Seeking God on clarity of vision will make all the difference in living your lives with purpose.

Husbands and wives who moved west and pioneered the United States during the westward expansion understood partnership. They had to be fully together as partners in order to survive in the hardships of settling a new land. Their partnership became stronger as they overcame hardship as a team.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

9 Traits of a Life-Giving MarriageI’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here