Overcoming My Negativity with Kindness
As a mom, I replace my negativity with God’s kindness every time I instruct my child without condemnation or judgment. I replace negativity when i choose to be loving and keep no record of wrong (See 1 corinthians 13). I replace my negativity with His kindness when i seek to understand where the heart of my child is rather than think the worst about him or her.
God has given parents the unique opportunity to represent God to our children. We are not only charged to instruct them in God’s ways, but to share His heart.
Story of Adopting Older Sons
The Parenting Trap of Negativity
As a mom I have been too results-oriented and not enough process- oriented. I wanted the result of well-behaved children with great manners and a spotless house where everyone did their chores. These are good goals. However, the most important is that my children feel loved and learn how to reverence god and His ways.
I was able to turn a corner when i thought about the needs of my sons. i realized that their hearts were like an overdrawn bank account. in the morning they did not start with zero in their love- bank. They started with negative ten. I noticed that if I was positive throughout the day, they would end the day with about plus five. However, when they woke up the next day, they did not start with plus five in their love-bank. They
were back to negative ten. It was only God can fill the leak in my child’s love-tank.
God’s Kindness Never Ends
Even when God is instructing us as His children, He is not harsh or rude. He does not have a look of disappointment on His face when He looks at me.
Showing god’s kindness to children is valuing them and treating them with respect. To be kind to is to develop a compassionate empathy to show them you truly care. Kindness is being considerate, thoughtful, unselfish, and friendly.
A Prayer for Kindness
Sue Detweiler is the mother of six, author, speaker, and radio host with over 2 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education.