Honesty in Marriage Requires Self-Control

You and I have the ammunition to blow up our marriage every day. Not only do you know your spouses weaknesses, you know what triggers their own vulnerabilities. You can either build up your spouse or you can tear them to shreds.

Honesty is key to every relationship. It’s important that you and I are transparent and real with our spouse. However, it is equally important for honesty in marriage to be anchored by self-control.

In your own relationship, when you or your spouse feels flooded by emotion, one of the best things you can do is say, “Let’s stop for now and talk about this later.” Simply being aware of the physiology of your body during an argument will help you maintain self- control with your words and actions.

Self-control is God’s work in our lives. It isn’t something we, as Christians, have to muster up in our own will. Self-control is a fruit that grows when we invite the Holy Spirit in to direct our lives and heed His instruction. If you think you have to do life all on your own, you may get discouraged. But when you and I realize that we have God within us to guide us in a godly response to conflict, we can listen for and lean into His strength. Prayer is an important part of leaning into God’s strength.”

Speaking of self-control, watch this video encouragement (and confession).

Honesty—People who feel they can’t express themselves honestly to their spouse often travel down a dangerous road to find someone who listens and understands. This chapter will help you set the ground rules that open the lines of communication between you and your mate. 

Let’s discuss Chapter 4 (Honesty) #MarriageRocks

Read Chapter 4 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Reflect and journal the following questions. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use.

  1. Here are 4 helpful things to remember when setting ground rules for honesty in marriage: watch your words, listen attentively, speak honestly, keep a positive perspective. Which do you find the hardest to do?


  1. Do you remember a time when a “tiny spark set a great forest of fire” in your marriage? (James 3:5)


  1. What are some verses you can pray to help you to really listen and give your spouse your full attention?


We will see you back here on Wednesday to discuss Chapter 5.

Invite Your Friends:

There’s still time to also invite your friends to join you for this Study:

Join the FREE online #MarriageRocks study: http://suedetweiler.com/bookstudy

Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

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 Better sex in Christian Marriage

February 20 2016

Wayne & Sue Detweiler (Speakers and Hosts) With over 25 years of marriage and ministry experience, Sue & Wayne will motivate you to build a strong and intimate marriage. You will be strengthen by their biblical encouragement and then led through Marriage Exercises to help you revitalize your marriage. Your investment will help your marriage last a life time.

Included in registration cost is the book “9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage” and materials for each couple.

9:00 am Registration & Give Aways on Saturday

9:30 am – 5:30 pm Saturday (Sessions & Exercises)

Special Musical Guest/Worship Leader – Lance List