Being Your Best You

Being Your Best You

Being Your Best You

Every mom wants to be the best mom in the world for her child, but sometimes she feels like the worst. In the first 2 years of your child’s life you will lose on average 6 months of sleep! That will make anyone cranky! If you add to the mix a child that has colic in the early months, many moms feel pushed over the edge of exhaustion.

That’s how I was as a young mom. That is what has given me a heart to help moms of all ages. I want to help women embrace their God-given calling and purpose as moms.

How do you live a purpose-filled life, in the midst of your worst moments of being anxious, stressed, angry or sad?  At home, we tend to let our filters down. Our family get’s our worst, rather than our best.

I was interviewed recently on Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk by Ryan Dobson and Dr. Meg Meeker. We talk about stress-filled situations as a mom. Listen to our first interview.

Listen to Family Talk October 15 Broadcast Here 

Be your best you

What Are You Juggling As a Mom?

What ever you are juggling as a mom, you are not alone. You are not the only one dealing with being angry. You are not the only mom that is stressed and overwhelmed. You are not the only who struggles with situations beyond your control.

The key to walking out your God-given calling as a mom, is to go to God for strength, wisdom, and encouragement. Moms need encouragement. The best encourager is God Himself.

Here are a few practical strategies that I have lived out in my life to help me be on mission as a mom:

1. Make the Word a Priority

It is so easy to let the needs of our children lead our day.  After many days ending where I felt like a failure as a mom, I began to be desperate for the Word of God. I was desperate to read the Bible early in the morning, because I knew that without it I would not have the emotional strength and stamina I needed to parent well.

One morning when my daughter Angela was around 2 she woke up and asked for breakfast. I calmly responded, “Mommy needs her breakfast first.” I then went back to reading my Bible. Angela looked curiously confused since I didn’t have any food near me. Angela asked,”Does mommy eat the Bible for Breakfast?” I laughed and said, “YES!”

The joy to me about telling that story today, is that I know exactly what my 22 year old married daughter Angela did this morning. Although we now live in different states, I know that she got up and read the word of God, journaled and prayed. Angela now eats the Bible for breakfast too!

Here’s the second Interview I did with Family Talk Radio:

Listen to Family Talk October 16 Broadcast Here

Be Your Best You

 

2. Remember What God has Done

Another practical strategy of living a purpose-filled life when everything seems to be going wrong is to remember what God has done! We can get so stuck in a funk of negative thinking that we forget.

Any time you are overwhelmed with a difficult circumstance, look up! Stop looking at the problem, trying to figure it out in your own strength. Look up to God. Magnify Him in your perspective. Look to Him for help.

Take time to retrace those places when God showed up and helped you. Rather than thinking about the bad things that you are facing, stand and remember the good that God has done. Put your faith in His faithfulness.

Our kids failures and mistakes are not a reflection of our identity. In the same way, we can’t  take credit when they do well. Our identity is not in a well-behaved child. Our identity is in Christ, who laid down his life for us.  Remember what God has done!

3. Pray God’s Word Out Loud

Saying the Word out loud, will strengthen your heart and change you perspective. The transformational process occurs when we bring God’s word into the midst of our difficult situation.

Here is a Scripture that I have been meditating on and praying out loud since I was a little girl:

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

What are your “go-to-Scriptures” as a mom. Do you have sticky notes on your mirror reminding you of God’s Word. It is His Word that endures for ever, not your problem.

4. Admit When You Have Made Mistakes

Be honest about your worst moments. You don’t fulfill your life-purpose by pretending you are perfect. By the way, your children already know you make mistakes. You might as well admit it, and ask for God’s grace to cover you.

A mom falls short of God’s plan for her life because she is human.

For everyone has sinned;

we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

Romans 3:23 NLT

Only God in heaven is perfect. Your role as a Life-Giving Mom is to lead your children to their perfect Father in heaven. He is the One who will understand them. He is the One who is always there when they need Him. He never fails them.

5. Be Your Best You – With God’s Help!

You will love your purpose in life, when you breath in the precious Holy Spirit every day. You are unique in all the world. You are free to be you. Just like we shouldn’t parent our children to please others. You don’t have to live your life to please others.

Live your life freely before God. It’s His standard that rules your life, not other people’s opinions. You are the one who will stand before God as His child. Aren’t you glad, that when you meet God, He won’t be frowning at you. He won’t be squinting to try to remember your name. He won’t be short-tempered with you. He loves you. He is a Life-Giving Father.

God is for you. You love your purpose when you live for God!

****

 

Being your best you Sue Detweiler is a mother of 6, an author, speaker, and radio host with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. When 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom was launched it hit #1 on Amazon’s Hot New Releases for Christian Women’s Issues. Sue loves to connect on her blog as well as on twitter and facebook.

 

 

 

Get your copy of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom

 

Safe Empowered Child

Safe Empowered Child

Have you struggled to know how to help your child be safe in the harsh realities of the world today? When my children were small, I took time to talk with them about the potential dangers of sexual abuse, child pornography, kidnapping.  I struggled to know how to put into words my concerns without scaring them.

safe empowered child

How to Fix Your Marriage

How to fix your marriage

How to Fix Your Marriage

If you have been married for any length of time, you know that you can’t “fix your marriage” only God can. You have probably learned by now that you can’t change your spouse. You can’t control what they think or what they choose to do. You have probably been hurt in some way by your spouse. Likely there are cycles and circles and patterns in both of your lives that are unhealthy to your marriage.

You may have even experienced some similar pain as described in this video with Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs:

 4 Things You can do to Move Forward

When you are wondering how to fix your marriage, you may have been functioning on the fumes of past affection. Your emotional love tank may be empty. In fact your love tank may have a hole in it.

1. Forgive

When you choose to forgive, you more than just put a patch on the hole in your love tank.  You choose to have a fresh start – a new beginning.

You will not be able to just forget the things that have been done. You won’t be able to fix the cycles of sin in your spouses’ life. However, you can allow the Holy Spirit to convict you of your own sin.

When you feel hurt by your spouse. You undoubtedly feel that you have a right to hold on to that grievance until you spouse changes.  Ask yourself – Does my UNFORGIVENESS help my spouse to change? Of course not.

Bitterness will blind you to your own part in the brokenness in your relationship. The sad thing is that I have been bitter about relatively small things in marriage. What a waste of time.

When I watch the testimony of Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs, I know that God is able to help us forgive our spouses of grievous sin. However, the reconciliation in their marriage required BOTH partners to repent of their sin and be reconciled. Both Cheryl and Jeff needed to repent and it was only the miracle of the Holy Spirit that brought them back together again.

2. Trust

One of the hardest things in marriage is trusting your spouse after they have sinned.  When trust has been broken it must be regained through accountable living.

For many marriages our trust is misplaced. Our primary trust must be in God.  His love is unshakeable. His care is everlasting.

When Jeff was served divorce papers, Cheryl was completely closed to any type of reconciliation. She had emotionally divorced him many years before. The adulterous affair sealed the fate of a broken marriage.

For both Jeff and Cheryl, their trust needed to be in God the reconciler. They couldn’t fix the marriage in their own strength.

3. Hope

When you have been deeply wounded by a broken relationship, you can become hopeless. When hopelessness settles in, everything in life seems tasteless. Before you know it, you are in a FUNK F-lounding U-nder N-egative K-nowledge.

Whenever you lose hope, you aren’t anchoring your HOPE in God. I know so many that have become divorced. It wasn’t their idea. It wasn’t what they wanted. You can lift up your hands and shake your fists at God or blame Him in your heart.

God’s isn’t your enemy. He can be your best friend. Now matter how terrible situation is, there is always HOPE. You hope is not in the success of your relationship. Your HOPE needs to be anchored in the person of Jesus Christ.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials,

for we know that they help us develop endurance.

And endurance develops strength of character,

and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment.

For we know how dearly God loves us,

because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Romans 5:3-5 NLT

 

4. Love

Our everlasting source of love is God. His resources of love never fail. God is love (1 John 4:8).

If you feel like your love tank is empty, and your husband or wife has not filled it with kind words, acts of service, gifts, touch, or time together, you can still have a constant flow of love into your tank. Let the distance you feel with your spouse draw you closer to God.

Listen for God’s words, “You are beautiful… you captivate Me… You are strong… you are handsome… You are valuable… I care about you… I will never leave you nor forsake you… I am the best friend you will ever have… Come to Me my beloved.”

If you forgive, trust, hope and love you will move forward in your intimate relationship with God…

When you grow closer to God, He gives tools to grow closer to your spouse. Only He can help you repair your relationship with your spouse. But even if your marriage comes to an end, your relationship with God is eternal.  No one can steal HIS love from you.

I would love to hear your comments on this blog

If you would like to find out more information of marriage coaching that Wayne and I, you can fill out the form below and we will be in touch with you. You are in our prayers. Remember, nothing compares to God’s embrace.

How to fix your marriage

Wayne and Sue are parents of 6 children. They have over 25 years experience in marriage and ministry. Sue’s book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom hit #1 on Amazon’s hot new releases for Christian women’s issues. Together they are writing a book called 9 Traits of an Intimate Marriage. 

Why I wrote This Book

WHY i wrote this book

Why I Wrote This Book

Destiny requires bold leaps of faith. I have been asked why I wrote 9 Traits of a Life-Giving MomI didn’t go through the months of writing this book with tears streaming down my face because I am a perfect mom. There are no perfect moms. There are no perfect families.

Every mom that I know wants to be the best mom in the world for her child. But sometimes she feels like the worst. God has given imperfect women the awesome opportunity to nurture the lives of other human beings. But sometimes we feel overwhelmed. Often we fall short.

why i wrote this book I wrote 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom because I had to. I had this burden to help moms be real in their brokenness.  I wanted to create a safe place for moms of all ages to find healing and wholeness. I wanted to help mom’s embrace their God-given calling to be a Life-Giving Mom by connecting to The Ultimate Life-Giver – GOD!

My friend Teasi Cannon wrote this in her review of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom

“One of the most encouraging things to my heart is simply knowing I’m not alone…not alone in my pain, not alone in my failures, and not alone in my journey.”

 

The Difficult Yet Life-Giving Journey

I have had the heart to write this book for 20 years. Around 7 years ago, after walking, talking and praying with my friend Pam Vredevelt I realized that writing for me was a God-given calling and a moral imperative. I didn’t want to face God at the end and hear Him say “Well, done servant…. But why didn’t you write the books that I called you to write…?”

I know God’s grace covers not only our mistakes but the things we leave undone. I also know His call. I had an undeniable burden to help others through writing books.

Finally in 2012, I took a bold step of faith. My husband and I had been at one church for 17 years. For most of those years we were associate pastors. In July, 2012 I officially stepped off of the pastoral team that I dearly loved. I laid down a ministry assignment where I had been effectively used by God.

I knew that it was God calling me… At the time, I didn’t know that He would later call us to relocate out of Nashville where we had served the city in ministry for 28 years. I didn’t know that He would call us to plant a church from SCRATCH in Texas! I didn’t know that He would call us to a why i wrote this book city where we didn’t know anyone. I didn’t know He would call us to leave our beautiful adult daughters in Tennessee, and plow the tough ground of beginning a new church.

All I knew at the time, was that He had called me to write.

I share these details with tears streaming down my face, because for me… writing this book has come at a great cost.

I have labored in prayer… I have labored in time… I have labored in study… I have labored in transparency… I have labored in repentance… I have laid it all on the line because I knew that God was calling.

So I responded, “Here am I. Send Me.” (Isaiah 6:8).

Why I wrote This Book:

1. To Obey God

I feel God’s pleasure as I have made room in my life to write. I have finally obeyed. Now I hear Him saying, “Write a book every year.” So, I have already begun writing my next book. The words are flowing out of me. I can hardly wait to get it to readers. There is a whole series of “9 Traits” books that are being birthed in my belly right now. Obeying God releases life destiny.

2. To Be Transformed

I am no longer the same woman. I have been changed and transformed through the writing process. It has given me a context to look back, search God’s Word, pray, and look forward.  I have gone through deep layers of repentance in my own life and heart. I have found God’s GRACE in a brand new life-giving, life-restoring way. His GRACE empowers me to live out my life-destiny with strength, wisdom, power, clarity and boldness.

3. To Help Moms

I love moms. I love trendy moms. I love soccer moms. I love stay-at-home moms. I love working-moms. I love single-moms. I love moms-of-special-needs-children. I love moms.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom has built a platform for me to come along side moms in the journey to be Life-Giving to their children.

My friend Amy Carroll  writes about 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom in this way:

“For a woman who struggles against my own perfectionism, Sue’s book comes as a breath of fresh air. It allows me to openly confess my own flaws while embracing the God-given power to overcome them. Her statement, “Go ahead and believe that He can take your worst and replace it with His best,” makes me exhale with hope…”

Share 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom with Others

In bookstores across the United States, 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom has arrived. Go to your bookstore. Thank them for carrying it. Buy a copy and give it to a friend (even if that friend is you).

Or if you like the quick and easy way of getting your book NOW. You can order it here.

What is God Calling You To Do?

Destiny requires bold leaps of faith. Are you willing to make the changes in your life that are necessary in order to obey God’s call? What life-destiny is He call you to boldly embrace? What area of brokenness is he transforming in your life? What “test” are you going through that will become your “testimony.”  I would love to hear from you. Please take time to write a comment. I read and respond to all of them.

Be encouraged in your Life-Giving Journey Today! Get a Copy of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom Today!

 

Why I wrote this book

 

Sue Detweiler is a mother of 6, an author, speaker, and radio host with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. When 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom was launched it hit #1 on Amazon’s Hot New Releases for Christian Women’s Issues. Sue loves to connect on her blog as well as on twitter and facebook.

 

 

 

Jesus Will Never Leave You Nor Forsake You

09-18-14-Jesus-never-leave-you

Jesus Will Never Leave You Nor Forsake You

Today as I was prayer-walking to the park, I asked the Lord to give me another divine appointment. I was able to talk and share with one young man Matthew* again. We talked about his pain and past sin. We talked about how he felt stuck, even though he is only 20 years old. We prayed together and agreed that I would begin to send him Scriptures every day. Yesterday I sent:

 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16 NKJV

As I came to the park, I saw the person that God was sending me to talk to today. His head was down with a cap on. As I walked by him he looked strong and defensive. I walked around the park 3 times praying for him and asking the Lord to show me how to begin the conversation.

I simply sat down next to him and we began to talk. His rough exterior soon melted to a man in a desperate situation. When he was 15 his life had crumpled after his grandmother who raised him in church died. He ended up in Dallas, with no real place to stay. His girl friend got pregnant and he decided to sell drugs to make money. It wasn’t long after that he was in jail serving time.

He got out of jail and got a job. Now 24 years old, working nights at Kroger, looking for a second job and paying child support after his girlfriend broke up with him.  Now homeless, he has to meet with his parole officer today who may put him back into prison because he no longer has an address he is living at. His girlfriend took his car, so he even as to get a ride to talk to his parole officer.

The weight of the world seemed to rest on David’s* shoulders. We began to talk about Scriptures. He knew the word because his grandmother raised him in church and he would read it every day. This Scriptures came out of his mouth.

Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”

Hebrews 13:5 NKJV 

It was hard to walk away from David’s. We exchanged numbers and I promised to pray. (When I checked back in with him, he had found a ride).

As I walked back to my beautiful home, I contemplated the plight of the poor in North America. In many cities like Dallas, you have to have a car to go anywhere. You need a home address to get a good job. You need references and connections to open doors.  My heart goes out to the young men who have made bad choices, and have suffered the consequences and have been beaten down by life situations and the enemies tormenting words in their own minds.

God, break out hearts for the plight of the poor.

Give me your compassion for those who have suffered loss

and had nowhere to turn.

Give me compassion for the drug dealers and thieves

just like you had on the Cross.

Change my heart from self-protection

to have a heart of BOLD GRACE.

“Here I am Lord,

Send me.”

Isaiah 6:8

Sue Detweiler

SUE DETWEILER is a mother of six, author, speaker, and radio host with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. Her book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom is now available online and in book stores.

* Not the real names. Please use this story to pray for the plight of the homeless in North America.

Living Bold for Christ

09-15-14-Bold-for-Christ

Living Bold for Christ

This morning as I was walking and praying there were 2 adolescents under the playground equipment in the park. So young, they looked like boys more than men. I walked over and asked them if they needed any help. With lighters in hand, they could just be meeting for a smoke or buying drugs or homeless.

As I talked with them more and learned their names my heart was filled with compassion. These young men have made foolish choices. I don’t know all the pain they experienced in their short lives. But my heart beat for them. I don’t want the potential that God has placed in their lives to be lit up with smoke.

I leaned in and asked if I could pray for them. One of the men flashed me a smile that lit up his face and said yes. I prayed,

“Jesus, thank you for these young men.

While they were yet in their mothers’ wombs, you knew them.

You fashioned them with your own hands.

You gave each of them a destiny that only they can fulfill.

Jesus, they have lost their way.

They have made foolish choices.

I pray that you would light their path.

Help them find their way home to you.

Surround them with divine appointments and protection.

I pray this in Jesus name. Amen.”

As I walked away, wanting to do more, but sensing that their hearts were not open to more, I continued to pray for them.

As I reflect back, I am challenged by our beautiful, pristine middle class neighborhoods that I presently am called to live in. The beautiful homes become shells that hide the desperate challenges that men, women, and children face every day.

Here I am as a woman with so much. I am desperately in love with Jesus, and he has not only saved me, He has healed me a delivered me. Every day, His word instructs me on how to live and what choices to make.  The thing that I have that can make the difference for Michael and Kyle and so many others is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ.

It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes…”

Romans 1:16 NLT

Living Bold for Christ is not based on Personality

The boldness that we walk in every day is not based on our personality. It’s source flows from the saving power of Jesus Christ.  Jesus is both bold as a lion and gentle as a lamb. Our boldness is walked out in the gentleness of letting the Holy Spirit inform how we are to minister to people that we encounter every day. God will use your unique personality to change people’s lives as you point them to Jesus.

Living Bold for Christ Releases Destiny

The destiny that is released when you live out your daily calling is not only your destiny, but the destiny of those who are trapped. Jesus came that none would perish and all would have an opportunity to know Him intimately. He came to destroy the works of the enemy in peoples’ lives. You hold in your hands the key of eternal life that unlocks destiny.

Living Bold for Christ is a Daily Choice

You and I have a choice every day if we will follow the Lord’s leading and prompting. There is enough time in the day to do all that God is calling you and I to do. Most of all, the gift is already in you. If you have received Christ as your Lord and savior, just share that gift with others in every smile that crosses your face, and every word that comes out of your mouth.

Sue Detweiler

SUE DETWEILER is the mother of six, author, speaker, and radio host with over 25 years experience in leadership, ministry, and education. Her book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom is available online and in book stores near you.