Life is Fragile, People Matter

Life is Fragile, People Matter

Life is Fragile, People Matter

My friend Susan’s life was shattered. She had brought two beautiful sons into the world. Nothing could prepare her for loss of her son Kyle to a drug overdose. No mother or father expects to bury their child. The depth of loss drove Susan to her own healing journey to find God’s restoration. Watch Susan’s brief video testimony:

Healing Journey

God leads everyone of us on a healing journey at one point in our lives. Everyone’s journey is different, because we grieve differently.

In the broken, dark moments of our lives we have trouble even taking care of ourselves. We have to choose to respect the unique ways that people walk through their grief. No one knows how the other person feels. It is only Jesus who goes down to the darkest places of our lives.

From Grief to Grace

The wonderful promise of Jesus, is that He is able to take us from grief to grace. He shines the brightest lights in the darkest moments. You don’t realize how terrible loss can be. But we all experience it grief.

We don’t have to wallow in grief. We need the time to seek God’s light to walk into a graceful spot. God can take us out of any crises, no matter how difficult it is!

Dance With Jesus

Dancing with Jesus

We can dance with Jesus at any point in our lives. Often we think about dancing when we are happy. But we can dance our way out of sorrow into His joy. It doesn’t mean that everything in our lives will ever be perfect. Our joy finds it’s place dancing in the arms of Jesus, the only perfect ONE.

Life is fragile, people matter If you would like a FREE BOOK by Susan B Mead called “Dance with Jesus” write a comment below. Two people will be chosen to receive a copy of her book. The drawing will take place by Monday, August 3rd.


 

5 Stupid Questions Women Ask Man

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

Be Stable and Strong in your Home

After gaining a great deal of weight in my journey towards menopause, I find myself struggling with body image in a new way. My body simply isn’t the same as it was when it was younger. It has thrown me off-kilter. I seem to be dealing with some of the insecurity that I felt as a young married bride.

I ran into a woman in Target that just had her second baby. We were commiserating together about the change in our bodies. The ever-changing hormones can play a number on our brains.  Let me know if you can relate.

5 Stupid Questions Women Ask Men

If you ask the wrong question, you will get the wrong answer. Because men and women are so different, it can feel like women are from venus and men are from mars. You are speaking a different language. Watch this fun video by Connie Podesta where she talks about 5 stupid questions to ask guys:

1. Do you notice anything different?*

I love Connie’s illustration that asking a man if he notices something different about the way you look, is like him taking you to his car and opening the hood and asking you what you notice. Women need to approach men with their own sense of self-respect. Your husband will not be able to demolish your own poor self-image if you constantly think negative about how you look. Give husbands an ability to affirm you without feeling like they are going to “get in trouble if they get it wrong.”

2. Do you think this makes me look fat?*

Women really don’t want to know the honest answer to this question. Struggling with weight is something that many of us will deal with at some point in our lives between pregnancy and menopause. Our own insecurity makes us want to be affirmed by the husbands we love. As the scale goes up, our rear end is getting bigger. It’s just part of what we deal with.

3. So what are you thinking?*

With men, this question is about timing. If we ask a question like this in the middle of his favorite ball game, we will only get blank stairs. Part of learning to bear with one another is learning to embrace what is important to the opposite sex. We need to learn to ask better questions with better timing.

4. Do you think that woman is prettier than me?*

When we ask the wrong questions, we will consistently get the wrong answers. Comparing the beauty of another woman who you already think is prettier than you will only put your man on the spot. The only way he can answer it and not get in trouble with you is to say ‘what woman?’  Every woman has been woven together by her maker in heaven. We have all made to be beautiful, no matter what our present cultural norms say.

5. Honey what’s wrong?*

Communication and intimacy is something that women and men both value. Again, this question is about timing. If your husband has had a bad day and is wanting to relax on the couch, it is not time for a deep conversation. Allow him to process, pray, and at least unwind from the day.

*I hope you enjoyed these 5 Stupid Questions that come directly for Connie Pedesta.

Building a Happy, Healthy Marriage

Every life-giving marriage requires work but also pleasure. If we stop falling into these male-female arguments, we will learn to appreciate our spouse for who they are. We will stop expecting them to fill up our emotional tank.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here


Unexpected Kindness #LifeGivingLinkup

Unexpected Kindness

Unexpected Kindness

This morning I nagged at my husband about the laundry. I really had nothing to complain about, he was doing the laundry, just not how I wanted it done.

Have you ever done this… demanded your own way…. Have you kept record of wrong? Have you become impatient for someone to live up to your standards?

When I act like this, I’m being selfish and self-centered. Pettiness drains our energy and strains our love. True kindness is unselfish. Read this description with is from my first book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom.

Unexpected Kindness

Simple Acts of Kindness

So think about it. Is there anyone that you need to say, “I’m sorry” to? Making things right will clear the air. Make your home a place where people want to come back to. Kindness is a quality that warms the heart and hearth.

The fruit of kindness is a remarkable force of persuasion in our homes. Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. To be warmhearted, affectionate, and caring.

God’s kindness is not based on my behavior. The only prerequisite for being adopted by God is that we receive Jesus. His kindness and goodness lead us to repentance (See Romans 2:4). Romans 5:6 says, “When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners” (NLT). We do not earn His kindness, He simply gives it to us because He is good.

Tweetables

Kindness is Love in Action

I hope you enjoyed these tweets. I would love to hear your comments on kindness being love in action.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here


10 Ways to Love #LifeGivingLinkup

10 Ways to Love

10 Ways to Love

Do you remember the zing of attraction you felt when your relationship with your spouse was brand new? Being in the same room brought both comfort and butterflies. You felt empowered by the looks of admiration. Chills ran down your spine when your hands brushed together as you walked or reached for the popcorn.

Do you still have those feelings? Do you still get a rush when the love of your life walks into the room? Or has exhaustion, disappointment, or bitterness replaced the elation you once felt? With the starry eyes of new love, we all fantasize about how life could be together. We want to feel that same sense of excitement, joy, and fulfillment all the time. But that isn’t reality.

If you have been married for more than a week, I’m certain you’re aware that your marriage is not perfect. No marriage relationship is. And regardless of how wonderful or terrible your marriage may seem right now, I’m also certain that you are aware of ways it could be better, healthier, stronger, and more loving. We all desire to see positive changes in our relationships. We all want to be built up, encouraged, and empowered to live life to the fullest. Whether or not you use the exact words, what we want are life-giving marriages.

10 Ways to Show Your Love

As you read through this list of 10 ways to love, think about your relationships. How can you put these principles into action today?:

10 Ways to Love

Putting Love Into Action

I hope you enjoyed these tweets. Now to put love in action takes focus. I would love to hear your comments on this.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.Download Here


Does Marriage Bliss Exist? #LifeGivingLinkup

Does Marriage Bliss Exist?

Is it possible to enjoy a strong and healthy marriage –’till death do you part? Yes… with God! (No… if you walk in the flesh). Marriage can be a mixture of the highest highs and the lowest lows. My most difficult times have often centered on my own self-centeredness.

Life-Giving Marriage

Do You Ever Try to Remake Your Spouse?

I have tried to remake my spouse in my own image (believe me it wasn’t pretty).  I talk about this in my recent television interview on The Harvest House TV Show. You can watch my interview here (start at 17:17):

When we try to fix our spouse, we will find the Holy Spirit convicting us of our own need to be changed by God’s power. We like to be in control, but you and I have to face the fact that we can not control or change our spouse. We can, however surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leadership in our lives to be transformed.

God Speaks to our Hearts

When you feel like you are stuck in a crazy cycle with your spouse, take time to listen to God’s still small voice. With pen in hand write down the words He speaks to your heart. You will be amazed at when you really listen for God’s voice on your marriage, He will direct you and guide you in specific ways that you can make your marriage more life-giving.

When everything is going well in our marriage relationship, we don’t feel the need to change. It is when things are not going well, that we have the incredible opportunity to go deeper in our relationship to God and to our spouse. It’s at the point of conflict that you have 2 doors in front of you. You can open the door to the enemy to speak lies in your mind and heart about your husband or wife. Or you can open the door to greater intimacy in your marriage.

Take a moment right now to listen to God’s voice. What are ways, that you have tried to remake your spouse rather than accept how God has made them to be? As you listen to God, He will show you a picture of how God has made your spouse to be.

None of us will experience “marriage bliss” like a fairy tale ending of “happily-ever-after.” It is in the conflictual times that we have the opportunity to open the door to greater intimacy. I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below…

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.
Download Here 


Celebrating Marriage

Life-Giving Marriage

Celebrating Marriage

Do you remember the zing of attraction you felt when your relationship with your spouse was brand new? Being in the same room brought both comfort and butterflies. You felt empowered by the looks of admiration. Chills ran down your spine when your hands brushed together as you walked or reached for the popcorn.

I was at the wedding of my nephew Daniel and his new bride Taylor this weekend. Just watching this fully-in-love couple, I felt great joy as I saw Daniel passionately grab Taylor for the kiss of the wedding. With equal zeal Taylor raised her arms at the close of the wedding celebrating their oneness!

Wedding

3 Ways to Celebrate Marriage

What is it about a young couple reciting marriage vows that is so inspiring? Part of it is the fresh journey they are taking together. Those of us who have been married a long time could spend time talking about the difficult parts of marriage, but today let’s celebrate the wonder of marriage. Here are 5 ways to celebrate marriage.

1. Celebrate Oneness

It is truly a miracle for a husband and a wife to be made ONE by the power of the Holy Spirit. As they say their vows, kiss and celebrate a far greater reality is taking place. The very first couple experienced this wonder of oneness.

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

‘This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.’
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:22-25 NIV)

Becoming one-flesh is a miracle of God. To be naked and unashamed with your spouse is a miracle of God. To be ONE with someone is no small matter. In this world where marriages are pulled down, we need to celebrate being together.

2. Celebrate Uniqueness

It is differences that can often attract a man to a woman. It is also what can divide a couple. You won’t always think and feel the same way about issues. You will have a different way of of communication. Learn to celebrate the unique way that God has made your spouse rather than spending your time and energy into recreating them.

What are the quirks about your spouse that drive you crazy? Is there a way for you to turn around your thinking and see things from their perspective? You still may not agree on issues, but you can come to understand and respect them for who they are.

It is stifling to have someone try to control you. It is also impossible to change someone else. Celebrating your spouse’s uniqueness is accepting the way that God has created them to be.

3. Celebrate Partnership

A gift of marriage is coming together in partnership. You join your household and finances together and share in choices for your future. You are stronger together than apart as long as you are pulling in the same direction. If you are pulling in opposite directions you will be tired and frustrated all the time. Seeking God on clarity of vision will make all the difference in living your lives with purpose.

Husbands and wives who moved west and pioneered the United States during the westward expansion understood partnership. They had to be fully together as partners in order to survive in the hardships of settling a new land. Their partnership became stronger as they overcame hardship as a team.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here

 


How to Build a Marriage that Lasts

How to Build a Marriage that Lasts

A Marriage That Lasts

Have you every wondered what the secret was to be happily married?  Have you wanted to find out how you could have a marriage like that? Shaunti Fieldhahn has spent 15 years researching what we need to know about men, women and relationships. Listen to her short video:

5 Habits of “Highly Happy” Marriages

If you want to build a marriage that lasts, it’s helpful to study those who have exceptional marriages. Shaunti Feldhahn’s study led her to write Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. Instead of focusing on our problems in marriages, she encourages that we look at things that the happy couples to do to make their marriage stronger.  What actually works to make marriages great.   The following 5 areas are summarized from her book.

1. Little Things are BIG in a Marriage.

A marriage is a daily endeavor to share love with our spouse. Wonderful Marriages have in common that both the husband and the wife put into practice little things in a marriage. The simple fact of a wife saying “thank you” and affirming the husband for work he has done goes a long way to show respect to him. When a husband reaches out to take his wife’s hand it shares the sweetness of love in a simple way. One way to begin to build a stronger marriage today is to start concentrating on the small things in your marriage that says “I Love You.” 

2. Believe the Best About Your Spouse.

Happily Married couples believe the best about their spouses intention. It’s amazing what a difference it makes on what you think the heart of someone you love. Couples with great marriages give each other the benefit of the doubt and think positively about their intentions. 

3. Take Charge of Your Feelings About Your Spouse.

All of us can have bad days and our feelings can snowball out of control. As happily married couples choose to think good thoughts about their spouse, they also choose to take charge of their feelings. Feelings can be inaccurate and can color how you respond to someone. Your response can be harsh or disrespectful and that will lead to a harsh and unloving response from your spouse. Before you know it you are on a crazy cycle. One way to break the cycle is to take charge of your feelings.

4. Temper Honesty with Wisdom.

. Your spouse will feel like you are dumping on them. In your heart to be honest with them, you have exaggerated the situation and blown it out of proportion. True honesty is tempered in wisdom.

5. Take a Risk and Share Your Heart.

It can be tempting to pull back and not share your full heart with your spouse. It feels risky to be open and vulnerable with your heart. However if you risk it all, you have the opportunity to hit the jackpot with your spouse. Totally surrendering and letting yourself be vulnerable will help open emotional intimacy which often leads to physical and spiritual intimacy as well.

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How to Build a Marriage That Lasts

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click here and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.

Download Here