9 Words to say in healthy relationships (Linkup)

9 Words to say in healthy relationships

Do you think you are always right?

Healthy Relationships

I was in argument with my husband and I sensed that I shouldn’t say another word. But, I had 4 words that I wanted to say, to prove my point. You guessed it. These four words were the gasoline that took our disagreement into full blown war.


It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right. Admit when you are wrong it will go a long way to heal your relationships.
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Life-Giving Relationships are Mutual

My husband Wayne and I love to perform wedding ceremonies for couples. Using these following 9 words are helpful in every life-giving marriage. If you haven’t used these words in awhile, humble yourself and make them a part of your healthy relationship vocabulary.

1. I Was Wrong

If you are a human being you will make mistakes. Learning to say these simple words “I was wrong” help you to admit your short-comings. Saying “I was wrong” is the starting point of learning to change harmful habits in your own life.

Notice the words are not, YOU ARE WRONG! If you think you are always right, it shows a lack of maturity and insecurity in your life. You may feel pressured to perform. Your confidence is built on your performance.

Living as a disciple of Christ calls each of us to stay connected in life-giving relationship with the ultimate Life-Giver. Jesus said this,

“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

John 15:5-8 MSG

Jesus is the only perfect human being who came to do with His father in heaven told him to do. Only God is right all the time. A big weight will come off of your shoulders when you realize that apart from Him you can do nothing.

2. I Am Sorry

The beautiful words “I am sorry” only mean something if you are willing to change. By staying in an intimate life-giving relationship with Jesus, his life will flow into you if you stay connected to Him. Inevitably, there will be habits in your life that need to be pruned for even more healthy relationships

Learning to say “I am sorry” in words and actions will change your life. The good news is that saying “I was wrong, I’m sorry…” does not mean “I’m terrible, I can’t do anything right…” There is no shame in being sorry.

If you have made Jesus Lord of your life, He has already freed you from condemnation. Add this Scripture to one that you meditate on:

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Romans 8:1-2 NLT

There is no condemnation for you. You don’t have to live under a low-lying cloud of condemnation feeling worthless about yourself if you get something wrong. There is freedom to say “I’m sorry” because you know that Jesus has already paid for your sin and guilt on the cross. It’s from that freedom, that you can and should acknowledge to your spouse and others when you have been wrong.

3. Please Forgive Me

To forgive someone is to cancel their debt. Before you are able to get to the point of genuinely saying these 9 words, you need to forgive them. You need to stop being angry and resentful for what they have done to you. When you have been hurt by someone, that hurt clouds your judgement. You may only see what they have done to you.

If you forgive them from the heart, the life-giving spirit of God freely shows you the way that you have fallen short in the relationship too. The Holy Spirit will also protect you from taking on blame or condemnation that is an exaggeration of your offense. You are able to take responsibility for your action, without being beat-up on the inside of you.

Life Giving Relationships Last

When there is mutual love and respect in relationships they last. Toxic relationships are marked by manipulation, control, condemnation, and blaming. Any cycle of ongoing abuse needs the help of life-giving counsel for health to be restored in your relationship.

I would love to hear your comments on this. Leave your comment below or join the Life-Giving Linkup!

#LifeGivingLinkup Time!

We all need encouragement. No matter what stage of life, we need others to share the journey with us. We don’t want to be alone. It’s more fun together. Let’s Linkup in a life-giving journey of encouraging each other.


God Knows and Cares

God Knows and Cares about your struggle (Luke 8 22-25) Christian Women need to encourage each other.

You are not alone in what you are facing. God is there for you even in the most desperate times. Here is something that happened a number of years ago when my children were small:

When you are reeling from news that startles you, do you go to God? Or do you get angry at God for not being there for you? Christian women

I have done both in my life and the truth is I would rather have God helping me along the way.  If God is for you, who can be against you? You may not have somebody showing up with groceries to give you, but if you open up your eyes you will see God at work.

God Knows … Be Real

Be real with God in your struggle and be real with trusted friends. You are able to pour out your pain without dwelling there. It doesn’t need to be a place of residence. Your residence is in the One who made you. He has a plan so trusting His plan is key.

God Knows … Be Peaceful (Luke 8 22-25)

How can you be peaceful? In the eye of the hurricane the winds are swirling all around, but in the center it is still. You can remain peaceful by remaining in the eye of your storm. By the way, you won’t be alone, Jesus is with you.

When the storm was waging all around Jesus, he was asleep in the boat when all of the disciples were screaming for help. The boat was filling with water. Finally they woke Jesus and said,  “Master, master, we are perishing!” (Luke 8:22-25).

Jesus calmly gets up and rebukes the wind and the raging water. Immediately there was a peace. The winds and the waves were serene around them. Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said “Where is your faith?”

Jesus was calling his disciples to have more faith. You and I can only calm the storms in our lives, when we remain in the center of the peace He provides.  Our faith is walked out when everything around us is swirling, but we are calm. We aren’t calm because we are in denial. We are at peace because we have HIS perspective on our situation.

In Luke 8:22-25 the disciples were afraid and marveled at Jesus that even the winds and the water obeyed Him. But Jesus was teaching us a valuable lesson. We will remain at peace in the middle of our storm if we remain in HIS peace. We have authority to calm the storms that rage outside us, because we are a peace in our hearts through faith in God.

 

Sue Detweiler

SUE DETWEILER is a mother of six, author, speaker, and radio host with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. Her book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom is available at bookstores near you.

 

How do Christian Women Overcome Sadness?

by Sue Detweiler

Life Can Be Sad, Even for Christian Women

Have you ever woken up and just felt down? It takes effort to get out of bed. When you look at your day, does it feel monotonous and mundane? Everything you eat is tasteless. Everything you attempt to do seems pointless. You just want to escape into a constant apathetic slumber.