Be Stable and Strong in your Home
After gaining a great deal of weight in my journey towards menopause, I find myself struggling with body image in a new way. My body simply isn’t the same as it was when it was younger. It has thrown me off-kilter. I seem to be dealing with some of the insecurity that I felt as a young married bride.
I ran into a woman in Target that just had her second baby. We were commiserating together about the change in our bodies. The ever-changing hormones can play a number on our brains. Let me know if you can relate.
5 Stupid Questions Women Ask Men
If you ask the wrong question, you will get the wrong answer. Because men and women are so different, it can feel like women are from venus and men are from mars. You are speaking a different language. Watch this fun video by Connie Podesta where she talks about 5 stupid questions to ask guys:
1. Do you notice anything different?*
I love Connie’s illustration that asking a man if he notices something different about the way you look, is like him taking you to his car and opening the hood and asking you what you notice. Women need to approach men with their own sense of self-respect. Your husband will not be able to demolish your own poor self-image if you constantly think negative about how you look. Give husbands an ability to affirm you without feeling like they are going to “get in trouble if they get it wrong.”
2. Do you think this makes me look fat?*
Women really don’t want to know the honest answer to this question. Struggling with weight is something that many of us will deal with at some point in our lives between pregnancy and menopause. Our own insecurity makes us want to be affirmed by the husbands we love. As the scale goes up, our rear end is getting bigger. It’s just part of what we deal with.
3. So what are you thinking?*
With men, this question is about timing. If we ask a question like this in the middle of his favorite ball game, we will only get blank stairs. Part of learning to bear with one another is learning to embrace what is important to the opposite sex. We need to learn to ask better questions with better timing.
4. Do you think that woman is prettier than me?*
When we ask the wrong questions, we will consistently get the wrong answers. Comparing the beauty of another woman who you already think is prettier than you will only put your man on the spot. The only way he can answer it and not get in trouble with you is to say ‘what woman?’ Every woman has been woven together by her maker in heaven. We have all made to be beautiful, no matter what our present cultural norms say.
5. Honey what’s wrong?*
Communication and intimacy is something that women and men both value. Again, this question is about timing. If your husband has had a bad day and is wanting to relax on the couch, it is not time for a deep conversation. Allow him to process, pray, and at least unwind from the day.
*I hope you enjoyed these 5 Stupid Questions that come directly for Connie Pedesta.
Building a Happy, Healthy Marriage
Every life-giving marriage requires work but also pleasure. If we stop falling into these male-female arguments, we will learn to appreciate our spouse for who they are. We will stop expecting them to fill up our emotional tank.
I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click the button below and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.