10 Simple Ways to Say “I Love You”

It’s the simple ways to say “I love you”, that sometimes mean the most. Here’s a few to put into practice in your relationship:

Give Specific Encouragement

Have you ever noticed that speaking the right word, in the right moment, brings great joy! Take a deep breath in and think about what is most precious about the one you love. If you have a journal, jot it down. Add a descriptive adjective, and you are ready!  Here’s one that I love about my husband.

I love how thoughtful you are. It amazes me that you take the time to keep our cars in working condition. I’m so thankful for your skill and expertise with cars.

Brag in Front of Loved Ones

Bragging in front of others about my husband began with a conviction in my heart. You see, I had trouble tearing down my husband in my mind so of course it came out. In chapter 1 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage I tell the story of my transformation.Download Here

After this God-Encounter I began to speak positively about Wayne to everyone. It had a huge impact on our marriage! He felt respected, and I began to meditate on all the good things about my husband (rather than his flaws).

Practice “Present Love.”

It so easy to be thinking about a problem with the kids or at work, that you aren’t really present.

Be present. Cheer at the super-bowl game. Laugh at his jokes (even if you heard them before). Laughing is good for you. Sometimes you need to just honestly notice what makes your spouse so amazing.

Serve in a Way that will Stand Out

What task is on the bottom of your list, that is on the top of their list?  One way to show that you love them is to complete the “honey-do” list. When I was a young mom, laundry was over-whelming me. I asked my husband to help. There he was in the laundry room, and I found myself getting turned on.

Drop a Memory into a Conversation

One way to stoke the fires of love is to remember doing something together. Our special time is around our anniversary. So just writing this blog, I’m starting to picture the beauty of the Colorado Mountains. Your conversation can be:

Honey, remember how much fun it was to drive up the Mountains in Colorado last year for our anniversary? What would be fun to do together this year?

Ask about the Day, and Pray specifically about it.

I love texting. What a simple way to keep in touch with the one you love moment by moment. 

Choose to View Quirks as endearing, not annoying.

This is tough I know. There are probably things about your spouse that are driving your crazy. (If you have been married to them long enough). If this is bugging you right now, read the first chapter 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Download Here

Say “Yes”

Wow! The word “YES” is so powerful. If you say as many “yes’s” as you can, than the “no’s” don’t overwhelm the conversation. In other words, be positive and not negative. 

Turn Complaints into Compliments

There’s a way to communicate concerns in a positive way. Think of it as a sandwich. The top piece of bread is a compliment, something that you noticed this week. The meat of the sandwhich is the concern that you share. The bottom piece of bread is another compliment. 

Express Appreciation Specifically and Aloud

It’s so wonderful to know that you are appreciated and valued. You don’t just say “I love you” on your wedding day. You need to say “I love you” every day in these 10 simple Ways.

I would love to hear from you!

5 Ways to Grow Spiritually with Your Spouse

Being married is an adventure. Let’s face it; we each bring habits and expectations into a marriage. None of us is perfect. I know I fall short; all of us do.

Growing spiritually with your spouse is not about being perfect, it’s about enjoying the journey.

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Go On a Wild Adventure Together

Plan a treasure hunt. The surprise adventure of finding the clues will lead you closer to each other. I remember one evening when we had an event that was cancelled. I had already lined up overnight childcare. I stood in the grocery store and prayed that God would show me a way to be creative. While Wayne dropped the kids off, I ran the hot water for the jacuzzi. I had laid out an indoor treasure hunt that made my husband smile.

Join A Small Group that Makes You Think

When you grow closer to God, you will grow closer to each other. What attracted me to Wayne was his love for God. You can grow closer to your spouse as you build positive relationships with others.

Have Sex!

Yes! Great Sex is key to a Great Marriage. Sex is war (against the enemy). When you come together sexually, there is a freedom to be emotionally and spiritually more connected too! There have been times when I have been in a fight with my husband and I sense God prompting me to make love to him. In faith, when I concentrate on being one sexually it has removed the tension and brought oneness.

Have a Daily Spiritual “Check-in” Question

Our check-in question is simple. How are you? How can I pray for you.  This is something I texted my husband today: 

Mentor a Younger Couple

From the point that we were first married, we have been helping couples grow spiritually in their marriage.We love doing premarital together.

When you encourage others to grow strong in relationship, you reinforce what you are committed to. Every time you encourage a younger couple to be patient or kind in their marriage, you are reminding yourself to do the same!

Download 9 Ways to Celebrate the Day of Hearts!

Here’s some simple ideas to celebrate the day of hearts! Download Ideas

How to Stop the Crazy Cycle

Let’s face it, relationships are not easy. 80% of the time your marriage may feel like it is smooth sailing, but 20% of the time you may hit a storm. If year after year in a marriage, you hit the same storm it can be disheartening. You want to learn how to stop the crazy cycle in time for Christmas!

The Need for Love and Respect

. In times of conflict, men and women may speak a different language. Dr. Emerson Eggerich talks about the “Pink and Blue Difference” in this video:

Stop the Crazy Cycle in time for Christmas!

If you have been feeling that crazy stress that comes from the crazy cycle, there is good news – you can get off of the cycle in time for the Holidays! In fact, you can choose today to offer love and respect to your spouse not based on whether or not they deserve it, but based on the goodness of what Jesus has done for you.

The person who get’s off the merry-go-round of blame first is the spouse with the most maturity. You can see that you aren’t getting anywhere on the crazy cycle. So take some simple advice, and show your husband some respect and your wife some love. I know, it seems overly-simplified… but try it. For some couples that we have walked through in this process, this foundation of love and respect was a game-changer for their marriage.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

We are receiving some amazing testimonies of how God has used 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage to help build a relationship that lasts. Here are a few comments from readers.

“I wish I would have read this during our first year of marriage, when everything was new and a little confusing. I had many “okay I’m normal!” moments while reading and thinking in retrospect. I especially liked how Sue really took the time to encourage the reader to evaluate his/her relationship with Christ. We get so caught up in a title rather than a lifestyle. I think this has been an excellent reading endeavor, and I will recommend it to all my married and soon to be married friends.” Maddie

“I appreciated the vulnerability shown throughout the pages, along with Sue’s willingness to share personal stories from her own marriage- the good and the bad. We can learn from each other, and this book had the tone of a wise, older sister, sharing her wisdom out of love, with a desire to see marriages succeed.” Dawn Klinge

“Truly a delightful, uplifting read with a spirit-driven plan to sustain both partners in a life-long marriage!” Angela

“This book is both encouraging and real, and would make a great gift too! Practical and biblical advice whether married, or preparing for marriage.” Dorris Swift

Get your copy today!

Click here to get your autographed copy of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

The History of Valentine’s Day

The Origin of Valentine’s Day… Putting it all on the line for love, Saint Valentine was martyred on February 14 269 AD. How does a Roman priest end of being named for a holiday celebrating love? Christian Broadcasting Network recently interviewed Father O’Gara to find out the facts about Saint Valentine.

“He was a Roman Priest at a time when there was an emperor called Claudias who persecuted the church at that particular time,” Father O’Gara explains. ” He also had an edict that prohibited the marriage of young people. This was based on the hypothesis that unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers because married soldiers might be afraid of what might happen to them or their wives or families if they died.”

“I think we must bear in mind that it was a very permissive society in which Valentine lived,” says Father O’Gara. “Polygamy would have been much more popular than just one woman and one man living together. And yet some of them seemed to be attracted to Christian faith. But obviously the church thought that marriage was very sacred between one man and one woman for their life and that it was to be encouraged. And so it immediately presented the problem to the Christian church of what to do about this.”

“The idea of encouraging them to marry within the Christian church was what Valentine was about. And he secretly married them because of the edict.” Valentine was caught, tortured and martyred in 269 AD

“What Valentine means to me as a priest,” explains Father O’Gara, “is that there comes a time where you have to lay your life upon the line for what you believe. And with the power of the Holy Spirit we can do that — even to the point of death.”

The Meaning of Valentine’s Day

I find Father O’Gara’s idea of laying our lives on the line for what we believe to be compelling. The agape love of God is so much deeper than the paper hearts, balloons and tissue paper of a one day holiday. God’s love transcends whether you are single or married, divorced or widowed, young or old. God’s love is universal and crosses lines to unite people.

So Happy Valentine’s Day to You no matter what stage of life you are in… You have the ability and calling to lay it all on the line for what you believe.

Ok, so after learning about Saint Valentine laying down his life for what he believed in, it seems so superficial to let you know that 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage is still on sale today and tomorrow. However, I believe this message of building a marriage that lasts is powerful and I want you to give it to as many people as you feel led to on Valentine’s Day. $.99 for the ebook and $9.99 for the paperback. Buy Now

Final Guide – 9 Traits Marriage Study (Expectancy)

Expectancy—Marriages typically begin with a healthy measure of hope and big expectations. Sin, in a variety of forms, can dash those hopes. Committing to a godly standard for your life and relationship will set you on a path to a strong, life-giving marriage.

Maintaining expectancy in marriage is an important pursuit of a healthy marriage. But just like acceptance, friendship, safety, honesty, intimacy, passion, endurance, and restoration, if you aren’t intentional about maintaining this life-giving trait, expectancy can dwindle, like water down a drain.

Let’s discuss Chapter 9 of #MarriageRocks

Read Chapter 9 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Reflect and journal the following questions. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use.

1. Have you experienced any obstacles to expectancy in your marriage? (I give some examples on pages 94-95)

2. What are some ways you find time to spend with your first love, Jesus, daily?

3. How can you renew your mind daily to cleanse yourself from the toxins of this world? (Romans 12:2)

As your last assignment, write your dear spouse a love letter. Use adjectives that describe why you first fell in love with them. 

It’s been great focusing on marriage. I hope you have grown from this study. I know that I have! Love to hear your comments.

 $.99 for the ebook and $9.99 for the paperback. Buy Now