A Marriage That Lasts
Have you every wondered what the secret was to be happily married? Have you wanted to find out how you could have a marriage like that? Shaunti Fieldhahn has spent 15 years researching what we need to know about men, women and relationships. Listen to her short video:
5 Habits of “Highly Happy” Marriages
If you want to build a marriage that lasts, it’s helpful to study those who have exceptional marriages. Shaunti Feldhahn’s study led her to write Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. Instead of focusing on our problems in marriages, she encourages that we look at things that the happy couples to do to make their marriage stronger. What actually works to make marriages great. The following 5 areas are summarized from her book.
1. Little Things are BIG in a Marriage.
A marriage is a daily endeavor to share love with our spouse. Wonderful Marriages have in common that both the husband and the wife put into practice little things in a marriage. The simple fact of a wife saying “thank you” and affirming the husband for work he has done goes a long way to show respect to him. When a husband reaches out to take his wife’s hand it shares the sweetness of love in a simple way. One way to begin to build a stronger marriage today is to start concentrating on the small things in your marriage that says “I Love You.”
2. Believe the Best About Your Spouse.
Happily Married couples believe the best about their spouses intention. It’s amazing what a difference it makes on what you think the heart of someone you love. Couples with great marriages give each other the benefit of the doubt and think positively about their intentions.
3. Take Charge of Your Feelings About Your Spouse.
All of us can have bad days and our feelings can snowball out of control. As happily married couples choose to think good thoughts about their spouse, they also choose to take charge of their feelings. Feelings can be inaccurate and can color how you respond to someone. Your response can be harsh or disrespectful and that will lead to a harsh and unloving response from your spouse. Before you know it you are on a crazy cycle. One way to break the cycle is to take charge of your feelings.
4. Temper Honesty with Wisdom.
. Your spouse will feel like you are dumping on them. In your heart to be honest with them, you have exaggerated the situation and blown it out of proportion. True honesty is tempered in wisdom.
5. Take a Risk and Share Your Heart.
It can be tempting to pull back and not share your full heart with your spouse. It feels risky to be open and vulnerable with your heart. However if you risk it all, you have the opportunity to hit the jackpot with your spouse. Totally surrendering and letting yourself be vulnerable will help open emotional intimacy which often leads to physical and spiritual intimacy as well.
How to Build a Marriage That Lasts
I’m excited to share that I have completed the manuscript to 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage which will be in bookstores beginning October 2. Click here and you can download the introduction and first chapter of the book for free.