3 Ways to Know if your Marriage is Drifting

Marriage Drifting

Is Your Marriage Drifting?

Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with your spouse, and you realized that your mind is drifting? You have no idea what your spouse just said, but you act like you got it all.

1. Drifting Happens When We Aren’t Paying Attention

Pastor Pete Wilson does a great job talking about how we can end up drifting away from God’s purposes in this message:

When couples get married, the intent of their heart is not to drift apart. In fact, they can’t imagine drifting away from the one they love. Yet, you can’t take your spouse for granted. If you don’t pay attention to what they are saying, you won’t pay attention to how they are feeling. A lack of attentiveness to your spouses needs will not only land you in “the dog house” it will put you in danger of traps that you never anticipated.

2. Drifting Happens When We Aren’t Anchored

. It’s easy to sleep in from church one day and feel like you have taken a wonderful sabbath rest. However, if it becomes a habit of your marriage, you won’t have the anchor of Christian Community to help grow your intimacy with God and with each other.

Ask yourself these questions about the habits of your marriage: 1. Do we pray together every day? 2. Do we treat each other according to God’s word? 3. Do we go to church together every Sunday?

There has been a false statistic floating around that says that 50% of all Christian marriages end in divorce. When author and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn took eight years to research this, she found that this statistic was not only false, it was being used to demoralize christian marriages. “Pastors need to know this,” she said. “People need to be able to look around the average congregation and say, ‘You know what, most of these people will have strong and happy marriages for a lifetime.  Doing what God says matters. This is a big deal to know.”

3. Drifting Happens When We are Caught in Sin

There are all kinds of sin that causes a marriage to drift: pornography, adultery, lying, stealing just to name a few. Sin separates us from God’s best for our lives, and isolates us from intimacy with others. Whether your spouse nows everything about the sin you are caught in or if you are still trying to hide it, sin is devastating to a marriage.

Yet, if truth be told, Romans 3:23 says

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”

One of the difficult things about your marriage is that not only has your spouse sinned against you, you have sinned against your spouse.

So ask yourself this question: Am I drifting? Just realizing that you are drifting in your marriage can cause you to wake up and fight for all that God has for you and your partner.

9 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage

Life-Giving Marriage We have had it in our heart to write a book for marriage for over 20 years. On October 2, 2015 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage will launch.

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Author, Speaker, and Pastor

SUE DETWEILER is a mother of six, author, speaker, radio host, and pastor with over 25 years of experience in leadership, ministry and education. Sue and her husband Wayne have recently relocated to the North Dallas Texas area to plant and pastor Life Bridge Church.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • I’m thankful that no one is perfect — except God alone… Can you imagine living with someone who was perfect all the time?

  • Thank you for this encouraging post. I know I need to start paying more attention and showing how much I love my husband. 🙂