Build Friendship in Marriage
Friendship is one of the most life-giving parts of a strong marriage. In the early days of your relationship, you probably spent hours laughing, talking, and enjoying activities that drew you closer. Those experiences built trust and emotional warmth. They made you feel seen, appreciated, and encouraged. Your connection grew naturally, and your passion felt endless.
Over time, however, life changes. Careers demand energy. Children require attention. Responsibilities increase. When external pressures rise, it becomes easy to drift apart without realizing it. Because of this, rebuilding and protecting friendship in marriage is essential. Friendship keeps your hearts connected and helps your relationship stay tender and strong.
1. Accept Who Your Spouse Is
Acceptance is the foundation of friendship. Unfortunately, acceptance often gets misunderstood. Some believe that accepting your spouse means excusing every flaw or ignoring unhealthy behavior. In reality, acceptance means appreciating who your spouse is as a person—strengths, quirks, imperfections, and all.
When marriages begin, romance and excitement can mask fears or insecurities. As the rose-colored glasses fade, couples sometimes focus on weaknesses instead of cherishing the uniqueness that God crafted into each partner. I certainly did. During our engagement, I tried to fix everything I believed needed improvement. Rather than building closeness, this pressure created tension.
Although I knew Wayne was the man God brought into my life, I struggled to release control. Eventually, I realized that God did not call me to be the Holy Spirit in Wayne’s life. He asked me to love him. Once I embraced this truth and trusted God with our differences, everything shifted. I could finally relax, and our friendship began to flourish again.
Acceptance reminds you that your spouse is God’s creation, not your project. When you stop trying to change each other and start appreciating each other, friendship grows naturally.
2. Have Fun Together
Friendship deepens when you share joy. Looking back at our early years, Wayne and I created memories that strengthened our bond. We lived in a tiny trailer. I was in college; he was in seminary. We had very little, yet we were incredibly happy.
We played tennis with other young couples, went to movies, attended concerts, and hiked trails. When rain cancelled our plans, we made love to the sound of it hitting the tin roof. Those moments strengthened our connection and helped us build a foundation of laughter and shared adventure.
Today, many couples forget to have fun. Busyness and stress often replace playfulness. Because of this, it is important to pause and evaluate how you spend your time together. If the answer is no, begin planning intentional moments of joy. Fun is not frivolous. It is a spiritual investment in your relationship.
3. Pray Together
Prayer is one of the most tender expressions of friendship in marriage. When you pray together, you share your deepest desires, fears, and hopes. As you listen to your spouse pray, you hear their heart in a way everyday conversations may never reveal.
Prayer strengthens unity. It aligns your hearts with God and with each other. Even if one of you feels uncomfortable praying out loud, you can pray in ways that feel natural—holding hands in silence, reading a written prayer, or simply inviting God into your day together.
Prayer is intimate. It is glue that binds your friendship and invites the Holy Spirit to shape your marriage. Couples who pray together cultivate spiritual closeness that flows into emotional and physical intimacy as well.
Conclusion
Friendship is the heartbeat of marriage. As you accept your spouse’s uniqueness, enjoy fun moments together, and pray as a team, your relationship grows stronger and more connected. These simple but powerful choices breathe life back into your marriage and help you rediscover the joy you first shared. When friendship flourishes, love deepens, intimacy grows, and your marriage becomes a beautiful reflection of God’s grace.
We take our lead from Christ,
who is the source of everything we do.
He keeps us in step with each other.”
Ephesians 4:15 MSG
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You can watch this interview that I did about 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage on The Harvest Show.
Acceptance can be hard for me. Often times our personalities class because he is too kind, patient, and generous (with others) stepping back from these to see them for the blessings they are.
Yes, acceptance is something that needs to be God-breathed…
I recently learned that if you can’t accept yourself than you can’t accept your spouse. This is critical!
#1 stepped all over my toes!
Yes, I think that is a very valuable lesson. Our security in Christ builds security in our relationship with our spouse.
My husband and I recently had the discussion of accepting the other for who they are. He used it as an excuse for poor decisions because “that’s who he was.” If we were defined by our poor decisions, I’d be a hot mess! We’re also working on trying to have more fun. Looking forward to a getaway weekend with no kids this weekend!
Hi Sue, I love your tips. Point is when we stop being friends with our spouses we open the gate way to many of the enemy’s devices. As you rightly said, prayer is the foundation and a nail of security. Praying together and praying for each other is vital.
Thanks for the Linkup too. Joining you for the first time.
Loads of Blessings to you
I couldn’t agree more! It’s like saying, “Come on in” as we open the door to the enemy through strife in our marriage. We are at war! We need to win the battle in prayer.
My husband and I have been married for 36 years and we grow more in love every day. There are certain things that we always do for each other. We always begin each day and end each day with “I love you.” We end each phone call with “I love you.” We are friends and we know that we both have faults. But, we love each other and lift each other up in prayer every day. 🙂
That is so powerful! You have 36 years of history of prayer together. Wow!
What great foundational tips to keep a marriage strong and thriving. For us, prayer has been invaluable in keeping Christ the center of our relationship.
Thank Edith! Yes, the power of prayer makes a difference in the daily aspects of our lives…. In fact, I would love your prayers as I begin to write a book about prayer at the end of this month. (I signed a contract with Bethany House for the book, now I need to write it 🙂 I love how encouraging you always are Edith.
What a great post, Sue! Love your tips, especially number 3! Thanks so much for sharing! Always a blessing to visit and link-up with you! Peace and many blessings to you, Love! 🙂
Tai, It’s always a pleasure to connect with you! You are a born encourager. I always feel encouraged by you — and I am sure that is a part of how you are in your daily relationships! Thanks for being God’s messenger!