3 Ways to Make Marriage an Adventure by Wayne Detweiler

Marriage Is an Adventure: Embracing Growth, Grace, and God’s Design

Being married is an adventure filled with both joy and challenge. To begin with, every one of us brings habits, expectations, and personal history into a marriage. Since none of us is perfect, we quickly realize that marriage reveals both our strengths and our weaknesses. I know I fall short as a husband, and every man does. Likewise, no woman is able to be a perfect wife.

When we speak the words “’Til death do us part,” we join ourselves to a person who carries their own assumptions about what marriage should look like. Eventually, unmet expectations surface. As a result, we must confront our own immaturity, selfishness, and the hidden parts of our hearts that marriage gently—or sometimes abruptly—brings to the surface.

When I dreamed about being married, I imagined myself as a strong, loving, affectionate, and kind man. I was already a pastor at twenty-nine, accustomed to my own routines and space. Yet everything shifted when God placed me in a marriage with a strong woman who held confident ideas of her own. At the same time, I discovered that Sue carried tenderness and vulnerability far deeper than her confident exterior revealed. Suddenly, I was responsible for providing leadership and spiritual covering in ways I had never experienced before.

God took the broken pieces of our lives and created a union with purpose and hope. Again and again, I have been amazed at how He has used our story to bring healing to other couples.

As Sue and I talked about writing 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage, we wondered whether we should co-write it. Since Sue’s book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom had such an impact, we decided she would write this book while I served as her coach, confidant, and support behind the scenes.

Most marriage books are written from a husband’s perspective, with the wife contributing supportively. However, this book offers a fresh and often vulnerable view. Sue writes from the heart, and together we hope these pages strengthen your desire to become a more loving, life-giving spouse.

We don’t claim to be experts. Instead, we simply want to walk alongside you with honesty and humility. The true Expert on marriage—Jesus Christ—was never married on earth, yet He calls the church His bride. His voice matters most.

Would I change certain things about Sue? Yes. Would I describe some of our story differently? Absolutely. A husband’s perspective is always different from his wife’s. Still, God uses both viewpoints to shape something beautiful.

1. Make Marriage an Adventure by Walking Closely with God

Throughout our marriage, I’ve discovered that the best thing I can do for Sue is to walk closely with God. When I spend time in His presence, I find strength, wisdom, courage, and the supernatural ability to love well. This exchange always amazes me. I bring Jesus my imperfections, and He fills me with His Holy Spirit—guiding, comforting, and encouraging me every step of the way.

2. Make Marriage an Adventure by Allowing God to Transform You

Transformation is at the heart of a thriving marriage. God knows how to lift you out of discouragement, heal old wounds, and empower you to love differently. Because He brings life out of death, He can revive even the most difficult seasons. Marriage becomes an adventure when you embrace God’s refining work. He gently smooths your rough edges and makes you more like Him, even when the process feels uncomfortable.

3. Make Marriage an Adventure by Sticking with It

Every adventure has a challenging middle—the part where you feel stuck, tired, and tempted to quit. The same is true in marriage. The middle requires resilience, patience, and faith. However, this is also where God strengthens your bond and deepens your love. As you read our story, my hope is that you will keep going, even when it feels difficult. What God joins together, He empowers you to sustain.

Conclusion: Your Adventure Starts Today

Marriage truly becomes life-giving when both spouses allow God to lead the journey. As you walk with Him, embrace His transformation, and refuse to quit when the adventure gets tough, your marriage will grow stronger and more beautiful than you imagined. You don’t need perfection; you simply need a willing heart. Trust that God is shaping your relationship into a masterpiece—one step, one choice, and one prayer at a time.

If you want to go deeper, you can preorder 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage and continue growing in wisdom, unity, and hope.

Watch 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage Book Trailer 

Wayne and Sue Detweiler have been married 42 years, have 6 children, and 11 grandchildren.