3 Strands of a Passionate Marriage

3 Strands of a Passionate Marriage

Do you desire a more passionate marriage?

Passionate Marriage

True passion comes from sharing oneself with another person—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. These 3 strands of a passionate marriage keep the home fires burning bright. We court, fall in love, share our vows to love, honor, and cherish, and expect to live happily ever after. So when the passion Hollywood tells us should come so naturally isn’t as easy as we thought it would be, disappointment can inhibit our sexual relationship with our spouse.

3 Strands of a Passionate Marriage

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV

The enemy hates your marriage. He will try to attack you emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  But if you keep all three areas strong and healthy, you will overcome the enemy every time.

Learning the language of love for your spouse will require you to make yourself vulnerable and available emotionally, physically, and spiritually. These three areas are not linear with one area coming first, then second, then third. It is more like an unending circle of spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy.

At times, I have been so angry at my husband that I didn’t feel emotionally or spiritually connected. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I would hear the Holy Spirit say, “Make love to your husband.” At that moment, I didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. I was mad. But when I listened to the Spirit, I found His grace. If I freely gave my heart and body to my husband, very often the spiritual and emotional aspects of our relationship fell into place.

At other times, it is the spiritual or the emotional connection that needs to come first with no pressure for sexual intercourse. Especially in a relationship in which the marriage vows have been broken, intimacy needs to be reestablished emotionally and spiritually first.

We can unlock the secrets of intimacy with our spouse by embracing God as the Holy One who created sexual oneness. Being one emotionally, spiritual, and physically creates a bond that is not easily broken. The beauty and joy of great sex as God intended strengthens this circle of intimacy. You see, God’s main goal in creating sex is not for procreation or even recreation, though both are enjoyed as important parts of marriage. God’s primary purpose for sex is unification—losing yourself in the ecstasy of intimately knowing and being known by your mate. 

Better sex in Christian Marriage

Register today!

February 20 2016

Wayne & Sue Detweiler (Speakers and Hosts) With over 25 years of marriage and ministry experience, Sue & Wayne will motivate you to build a strong and intimate marriage. You will be strengthened by their biblical encouragement and then led through Marriage Exercises to help you revitalize your marriage. Your investment will help your marriage last a life time.

Included in registration cost is the book “9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage” and materials for each couple.

9:00 am Registration & Give Aways on Saturday

9:30 am – 5:30 pm Saturday (Sessions & Exercises)

Special Musical Guest/Worship Leader – Lance List 

Register Today!

Week 4 – 9 Traits Marriage Study (Passion)

A passionate marriage nurtures oneness —True oneness comes from sharing oneself with another person—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is possible to rekindle physical passion even if the fireworks in your relationship seem to have completely fizzled out.

In Chapter 6, I share how Wayne and I came to understand that all three strands of marriage, spiritual, emotional, and sexual, need to be strongly entwined. We know firsthand that God can heal and renew relationships in exciting and beautiful ways!

Do you ever find yourself drifting in your marriage? Just realizing that you are drifting can cause you to wake up and fight for all that God has for you and your spouse. God is jealous for you! He wants you to have a passionate marriage.

Trait #6 - 9 Traits of a Life Giving Marriage

Let’s discuss Chapter 6 of #MarriageRocks

Read Chapter 6 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Reflect and journal the following questions. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use.

  1. Have you ever fallen into a similar hurtful pattern of rejection and stonewalling (as I discuss in Chapter 6)?

 

  1. Do you find yourself drifting? What are some ways you can anchor yourself to God’s will in your marriage?

 

  1. The turnaround for David began with his relationship with God (Psalm 51:7-12). Choose one verse from this passage each day to pray over your marriage this week.

 

I will see you back here Wednesday to discuss Chapter 7.

Invite Your Friends:

There’s still time to also invite your friends to join you for this Study:

Join the FREE online #MarriageRocks study: http://suedetweiler.com/bookstudy

Sign up here.


Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage?

Are you emotionally Safe in Your Marriage?

An emotionally safe marriage is one that allows you the freedom to be who you really are. You can trust that your spouse will love you no matter what. You feel unconditional acceptance. You feel safe to share the most valuable part of you—your heart. In an emotionally safe relationship, you are confident your spouse will not crush your hopes, dreams, or deepest desires. And you feel confident that what you share will remain private.

Emotionally safe in Marriage

If you do not feel emotionally safe in your marriage, you may be experiencing deep pain and turmoil in your heart. You (and your spouse) may feel

  • Judged
  • Disrespected
  • Misunderstood or rejected
  • Alone
  • Mistrusted or mistrusting
  • Insecure
  • Uncomfortable
  • Emotionally shut down

Emotional walls often feel like physical barriers that cut off feelings of happiness and security. Learn to recognize the above warning signs and heal the wounds caused by an emotionally unsafe marriage.

Trait #3 (Safety) - 9 Traits of a Life Giving Marriage by Sue Detweiler

Week 2 – 9 Traits Marriage Study (Safety)

Let’s discuss Chapter 3 of #MarriageRocks:

Read Chapter 3 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Reflect and journal the following questions. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use.

  1. Is there an emotional brick wall dividing your marriage?

 

  1. Personalize these verses for your spouse:

_________ has been created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

_________ is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

_________ is not only your most treasured gift from God, but one of God’s treasured possessions (Exodus 19:5).

 

  1. What are some ways you can get reconnected with your spouse this week?

 

We hope you will join us tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. CST for our LIVE Facebook group chat. And we will see you back here next week to discuss Chapter 4 on Monday and Chapter 5 on Wednesday.

Invite Your Friends:

There’s still time to also invite your friends to join you for this Study:

Join the FREE online #MarriageRocks study: http://suedetweiler.com/bookstudy

Just in Time for Valentine’s Day!

Strengthen your marriage by setting aside time to be together. This intimate conference will help you build on a deeper foundation of friendship. You will be encouraged as well as empowered through time together as a couple. Sign up today!

friendship in marriage

Sign up for The Marriage Bridge Retreat Today! 

Friendship is the Wind in Our Sails

friendship in Marriage

Friendship is the Wind in Our Sails

Marriage thrives on friendship. The joy of sailing through life together. Yet most couples are not prepared for the reality that although 80% of the time you will have “smooth-sailing” — 20% of the time you will experience “rough seas.”  Watch this short video.

Friendship brings life to our marriages. When friendship falters, the relationship is at risk. Maybe you are at a great place in your marriage and are experiencing the positive emotional connectedness of being one with your spouse. If so, great! Keep investing in your friendship.

Alternatively, you may be secretly crying into your pillow, feeling as if your needs are unmet. You could be withdrawing to your workplace and flirting with the secretary who admires your leader- ship. You could be wondering if it’s possible to regain the passion you once felt in your marriage.

Friendship is the wind in the sail of your marriage. Whatever the current state of your relationship, invest the time in strengthening your friendship.  Make your marriage a rich, life-giving adventure.

Reinforcing the foundation of friendship can help you grow together, rather than apart, and keep your marriage stable and fun.

Friendship in Marriage

I remember a time when I wanted to change my husband (see chapter 2 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage).Can you relate to that? Have you tried to change your spouse?

Last week, we learned about Acceptance. This week, remember, your spouse was created in the image of God. God fashioned and design your spouse with His purpose in mind. Since you do not have the power to change your spouse, you will need to learn to trust God and realize that it is not your role to act like the Holy Spirit in his/her life.

Now that we’ve relieved the pressure of needing to “fix” your spouse, let’s focus on the fun we can have in our marriages.

“Make time for friendship. Go out and have fun. Leave the kids with a sitter. Focus on your marriage. Focus on building your friendship, rather than proving your point.”

Trait #2 (Friendship) - 9 Traits of a Life Giving Marriage by Sue Detweiler

Week 2 – 9 Traits Marriage Study (Friendship)

Let’s discuss Chapter 2 of #MarriageRocks:

Read Chapter 2 of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage. Reflect and journal the following questions. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use.

  1. What were some of your favorite things to do when you were first forming a relationship with your spouse?

 

  1. Is there one “Horsemen” negative style of behavior that might be holding you back from building Friendship in your marriage (Criticism; Contempt; Defensiveness; or Stonewalling)?

 

  1. What are some ways you can commit to this week to restore Friendship in your marriage?

 

We’ll see you back here on Wednesday to discuss Chapter 3. Have a great day!

Invite Your Friends:

There’s still time to also invite your friends to join the book study. Sign up for the #MarriageRocks Study here

Join the FREE online #MarriageRocks study: http://suedetweiler.com/bookstudy

Just in Time for Valentine’s Day!

Strengthen your marriage by setting aside time to be together. This intimate conference will help you build on a deeper foundation of friendship. You will be encouraged as well as empowered through time together as a couple. Sign up today!

friendship in marriage

Sign up for The Marriage Bridge Retreat Today! 


The Power of Acceptance in Marriage #MarriageRocks

The power of acceptance in marriage

The Power of Acceptance Can Transform Your Marriage

Wisdom from God brings peace and assurance to your heart. To hear His voice, you must be willing to submit to Him and surrender to His leading. His voice will be confirmed by the good fruit produced by the Word. When you surrender to wisdom from above that is impartial and sincere, you are able to act with both humility and boldness. His wisdom is so pure and full of mercy that, sometimes, it surprises us. That’s how I felt when God spoke to my heart that day in 1993 when I was face down before God crying out for my marriage. In the quiet aftermath of my tears, I heard the gentleness of God’s whisper deep in my heart.

“Open your eyes. I want to show you how I have made your husband. You expect him to be like you. I fashioned you while you were in your mother’s womb to be a visionary leader. I fashioned Wayne differently…”

As I listened, I remembered how Wayne’s great love for God and his gentleness had drawn me to him. Yet somehow, I had begun to discount this attribute and the way God had made Wayne.

We sometimes forget that “gentleness” is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:26). When David wrote Psalm 18, He praised God for His gentleness.

Listen to my husband’s Wayne’s heart on how it changed our marriage.

 

We All Want to Be Accepted for Who We are

Everyone of us knows how it feels to be accepted for who we are and how God has made us to be. That doesn’t mean we accept sin or cover-up bondage. When we accept people for who they are, they stop trying to self-protect and the love of God is able to free them them from sin and bondage.

Listen to this encouragement that I give for acceptance in marriage:

Stir up Your Love and Appreciate Your Spouse

Embrace the counter-balance of your spouse in your life. Take time to think about what first attracted you to your spouse. Stir up your love and appreciation for your spouse. Engage in the life-giving pursuit of God and He will cause new life to flow through you to your spouse.

Week 1 – 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage Study (Acceptance)

Acceptance: “Acknowledging the fact that God made you and your spouse differently empowers you to honor each other’s unique roles and characteristics. Remember, despite your differences, you both bear the Creator’s likeness.” ~ Sue Detweiler

God’s voice differs from our own. However, when we so badly want our own way, it can be dangerously easy to mistake our thoughts and emotions for God’s wisdom. So how do you know the difference? How do you know if God is really speaking to your heart?

The answer: God’s voice is always consistent with His Word.

One guiding Scripture on gaining His wisdom comes from James 3:18:

And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (NLT)

We’d love for you to journal along in our study. If you signed up, you will receive a free download today in email that you can use. You will also receive an invite to join us tomorrow night in our private Facebook group to chat LIVE about this week’s study.

Let’s discuss Chapter 1 of #MarriageRocks:

  1. What are some other verses you can find on gaining God’s wisdom in your marriage?
  1. Acceptance is a conscious choice to receive your spouse as God made him or her. Have you struggled with accepting your spouse?
  1. What are some of your spouse’s God-given strengths? How can you honor them?

We hope you will join us tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. CST for our LIVE Facebook group chat. And we will see you back here next week to discuss Chapter 2 on Monday and Chapter 3 on Wednesday.

Invite Your Friends:

There’s still time to also invite your friends to join you for this Study:

Join the FREE online #MarriageRocks study: http://suedetweiler.com/bookstudy

Laughter and Marriage

laughter and marriage

Laughter and Marriage

As we get ready for the Christmas Holidays, let’s prepare our hearts and homes for laughter. It is so good to laugh. Here are a few ways that laughter can improve your health.

1. Reduces Stress Hormones

2. Strengthens Immune System

3. Lowers Blood Sugar Levels

4. Improves Digestion

5. Speeds up Blood Circulation

These health benefits of laughter shouldn’t surprise us, since the Bible says,

 “A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22 AMP”

Laughter is Good Medicine in Marriage

Laughter in marriage is good medicine. As we learn to laugh and not take our selves so seriously we can learn to enjoy marriage. As a married couple we deal with so many difficult, serious things in life, it’s good to just take time to laugh at ourselves.

In honor of getting ready for the Christmas Holiday, I thought you would enjoy a comedian’s take on marriage.

Marriage and Underwear

I love laughing at the differences in men and women. Have you ever noticed that women will communicate with questions? (I guess I just illustrated my point). Men are more likely to communicate by making a statement. We could either get frustrated at each other, or we could just laugh and embrace the difference. 

Here’s another fun video on marriage:

Happy Wife Happy Life

I love the way a comedian like Jeff Allen can make us laugh at ourselves. In marriage we deal with each other’s insecurities every day. Laughter helps us not take each other too seriously. 

How to Build a Marriage That Lasts

I want to personally invite you to invest in your marriage, Join Our 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage Online Book Study

You are invited to join a 5-week Online Book & Bible Study of my 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage book.
The study dates are January 11 – February 12, 2016. My friends Jana and Kim at Sweet to the Soul Ministries will host the daily study here on my blog and in a private Facebook group.
OBS pin copy
The only thing you need to fully participate is a copy of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage
Sign up to join the study.

Click Here to Sign Up



Building a Life-Giving, Spirit-Filled Marriage

Building a Life-Giving Spirit-Filled Marriage

I went on a date with my husband over the weekend. We went to see the movie “Woodlawn.” Set in the early 70’s it tells the story of a Football Coach and the newly forced integration of his football team. Starting out with race riots, the team allowed an evangelist to speak to his team. Young men black and white were saved and everything changed. These high school students so impacted their coach that He was saved which forever changed his marriage and his family.

Weeping through this movie, I held my husbands hand believing God for more of His Spirit to be poured out in our generation. When we receive His eternal life flowing into each one of us through salvation, we are forever changed. 

As we move into 2016, my hope and prayer is that we would freshly invite Jesus to be at the center of our lives. When we experience a fresh outpouring of His spirit, we are forever changed. Then, we need to get incredibly practical, honest and transparent — inviting God’s love to impact our lives.

I want to personally invite you to invest in your marriage, Join Our 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage Online Book Study

You are invited to join a 5-week Online Book & Bible Study of my 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage book.

The study dates are January 11 – February 12, 2016. My friends Jana and Kim at Sweet to the Soul Ministries will host the daily study here on my blog and in a private Facebook group.
OBS pin copy
The only thing you need to fully participate is a copy of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage
Sign up to join the study.

Click Here to Sign Up


A Wedding Miracle

A Wedding Miracle

Facing 3 surgeries, 8 months of chemo, and 6 weeks of radiation is an unlikely time to build a relationship with the love of your life. Yet, nothing is impossible with God.

Expectancy in Marriage

Have you been at a wedding and found yourself crying at the beautiful and profound way that God brings a couple together? I was crying those sweet tears this weekend as I witnessed Reid and Amanda (Noelle Wilcox) Patterson join their lives in a covenant of marriage.

The high point for me in the service was when Amanda pulled out a letter she had written to her husband in April 2014. She didn’t meet Reid until a month later. She wrote her letter in faith and expectancy that God would bring her the man that she needed rather than the man she thought she wanted.

 Amanda surrendered to God her heart’s desire to be married. She put everything on the altar.

When Amanda wrote this letter in April, she didn’t know that she would meet her husband in a Juice bar in May. Neither of them knew that she would embark in a struggle against cancer, facing 3 surgeries and 8 months of chemo therapy and 6 weeks of radiation.  In the battle of her life, a knight-in-shining armor arose – Reid Patterson. Reid  was at her side during all the gross and difficult moments of this struggle.

Through the entire process, Amanda was a beacon of light and an encouragement to the medical community as well as the christian community who enjoyed Amanda’s talents as a vocalist and worship leader. As one of Amanda’s mentors, I saw her go deeper in her faith. Suffering made her more beautiful inside and out.

A Wedding MiracleLast month I had dinner with Amanda and Reid in what is now their first home as a couple. They radiated with the presence and the power of God. God not only healed Amanda so she is cancer free, but he brought them together as a husband and wife. It was so much fun to give them my new book on marriage, and pray for God’s continued blessing in their life.

A year ago Amanda was at the beginning of her fight against cancer, now she is on her honeymoon with the love of her life, cancer-free!

I Would love for you to get a copy of my book 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage.

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage

Get your copy today!

Buy a copy for yourself today, and an extra one to give as a Christmas Gift. This book will help you build a marriage that lasts. Invest in your marriage. No matter where your relationship is presently, this book will encourage and strengthen you to make it better, with God’s help!

Buy your Copy Today